


Mixing Business with Pleasure

by Scoco



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Forbidden Love, In a way, M/M, POV Peter Parker, POV Wade Wilson, Slow Build, Tony is Peter's Dad, some angst if I'm being honest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-08-19 02:29:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 22,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16525577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scoco/pseuds/Scoco
Summary: ON HIATUS. SORRY :/ life is hard. I love this fic and the lovely people who have read it so as soon as I get shit together...it's over for you hoes.Deadpool is considering switching professions. Being a mercenary has gotten a little bit old.But in order to pay rent and ~find himself~ he needs to make a little money first.Luckily enough, he’s got a job that pays his rent thousands of times over: Killing Peter Parker.Unfortunately, getting that much money is never easy, especially when your target has the ass of a god and a smile that makes your insides all mushy.-Deadpool is his usual self. Peter is the adopted son of Tony Stark, trying to make his own way in the world while being Spider-man.Tony is an overprotective dad who definitely disapproves of Peter dating a mercenary. Especially one that was hired to kill his only son.





	1. Chapter 1

Money, money, money. How did that Pink Floyd song go again?  


**[Monayyyy it’s a gas]**  


**{ Grab that cash with both hands and make a stashhh}**  


That was it. What Wade really needed to do now was grab that cash and make a motherfuckin’ stash.  


Sure, he was ‘loaded’. Or at least, used to be. These days, he’d been blowing through his savings instead of actually making any money.  


Wade may have had a teeny little tiny change of heart about the whole mercenary thing. Yes, he always tried to kill bad guys, but he always got into trouble for it. It was fucked up.  


He figured if he could just do one last huge job that paid a shit ton of money, he could go the rest of his days without killing. Maybe put some money into some offshore accounts, invest in the railroad, or whatever it was that people with a lot of money did.  


Then, maybe, he could do some good or whatever. Live in his crummy apartment and fight crime, spending most of his money on bullets and chimichangas.  


Seemed like quite a life. He was getting old now, 32 (gasp) and maybe he wanted to settle down. Do something different.  


Of course he still loved killing. The violence, the action, the adrenaline: it was all intoxicating.  


But maybe he’d Eat Pray Love it or something. Travel to India and find his life’s calling. Or at least go to Little India (the restaurant a block away), order some butter chicken, and pretend like he’d suddenly got it all sorted out.  


All of this soul searching and future planning was the exact reason he finally started answering his phone.  


People who needed people killed knew how to reach him. He was pretty famous, okay.  


**[Infamous. I think you meant infamous.]**  


_Infamous still has the word ‘famous’ in it, y’all._  


Regardless, he still had quite the reputation as a mercenary. Bad, and good. His clients fucking loved him, but...others didn’t like him so much.  


The Avengers, for instance, hated his guts. All a big misunderstanding, really. The majority of Wade’s kills were bad dudes. The ones that weren’t...well...they paid the bills. Ethics are hard anyways.  


But anyways, he was trying to get out of this business, and he needed to take one last job that paid a shit ton.  


This was easier than Wade thought, for as soon as he had got back from his nightly Taco Bell run, plopped his ass on the couch and turned on Golden Girls, he got just the call he wanted.  


Unknown number, not surprising.  


“This is Deadpool, correct?”  


The voice was heavily distorted, and Wade took that as ‘these guys mean business’ which was perfect.  


“Why yes it is, may I ask why I have the pleasure of receiving this call?”  


“I have a job for you.”  


“Oh well do go on.”  


“It’s a big one.”  


“Now don’t you go getting a girl’s hopes up. How big we talking about?”  


“Three million dollars.”  


Well, holy shit.  


This was the golden ticket.  


**[We could buy an island with that kind of money]**  


**{Imagine how many hookers we could hire with that kind of money}**  


Wade was going to be a millionaire.  


“Who’s the target?”  


“Peter Parker.”  


“What’s the reason he’s worth so much?”  


Wade always had to ask this question, ethics and all. Good business practice.  


“Let’s just say he’s hurt a lot of people. He lives in New York, 23, should be easy to find.”  


Well, that was good enough for Wade.  


“Consider it done. I do require a bit of an advance, though.”  


“No problem. You’ll find 100,000 wired to your account in the morning.”  


Wow, these guys really did mean business. Cha-ching.  


The caller hung up abruptly, and Wade settled back into his couch.  


This day had just gotten even better. Now he just had to find this Peter Parker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI I am an Aunt May STAN. okay. she is wonderful. Just not in this fic.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter starts adulting, Wade tries to find Peter.

Peter had a headache. The whole day had been headache-inducing.  


First, he got his ass thoroughly kicked by a gang of robbers he tried to stop. Then, Tony yelled at him for showing up to work late. And to make things even worse, Tony had then yelled at him for trying to find an apartment.  


Tony had adopted Peter when he was 16, and he had always been controlling.  


Yes, yes, yes, Peter owed Tony a lot.  


Tony was there was Peter got bitten by that Spider, and was there for him when his Aunt and Uncle died, and had been there for him since.  


He had taken Peter in, given him a home, a new Spidey suit, and a job at Stark Tower.  


With the job, he was able to work his way through college. Tony might be loaded (extremely loaded), but he always insisted that Peter worked for whatever he wanted.  


And now, when Peter wanted to move out of Stark Tower and make a new life for himself, Tony was being controlling again.  


‘It’s not safe’ ‘Think of how much you have to pay in rent’ ‘What the hell is wrong with Stark Tower’ blah blah blah.  


He was Spiderman, for god’s sake, he would be safe in another apartment. And besides, he had just been promoted at Stark Industries (not by Tony, that would be nepotism) and it came with a nice pay raise.  


It was time to get out of Stark Tower. There was no way around it.  


As Peter looked around his room, the one he had had since he was 16, he felt suffocated.  


All of those memories, trapped in this room. He needed out. He needed a future, not to be reminded of his past daily.  


He was indebted to Tony, and cared for him like he would a father, but always felt like he was a burden.  


And that headache would not go away, not unless he changed something.  


Peter rolled out of bed, slipped a hoodie on, and left his room. He needed to talk to Tony again.  


Tony was on the couch, flipping through pages of some business briefing, looking thoroughly unamused.  


“Hey...Tony?”  


“Hmm. Yes, Peter.”  


He walked over to the couch and sat down right next to Tony, trying to summon his puppy eyes. They never worked, but it was worth trying.  


“So...Dad.” That always got Tony “I was hoping we could talk about me moving out again.”  


Tony put the papers in his hand down, and looked Peter straight in the eye with his signature ‘intimidating father’ look.  


“Peter, we’ve already been over this. That would just be stupid.”  


“But! But you’re always saying I should work for what I want. I just got a raise, I could afford an apartment.”  


“So what if you could afford it. It’s not safe anyways.”  


“I’m Spiderman. I can defend myself.”  


“It’s one thing for you to fight bad guys, it’s another thing for you to have to defend yourself constantly. People know you’re my son.”  


“Ughhhh but dad. Dad. I’ll just use my old name, Peter Parker. No one will know.”  


“I still don’t think it’s a good idea.”  


Peter could tell Tony was softening up, just a little bit, so he brought out the big guns.  


“Dad, you know how much I love you-” Peter swallowed down vomit, blegh affection “But I feel weighed down by my past. My parents dying, my uncle dying, my aunt dying. I just want to start new. Make a life for myself.”  


Tony shook his head and let out a little sigh.  


“Alright. You can do it. But we’re setting up security cameras and alarms. And you have to visit at least once a week.”  


“Yes! Tony! Thank you so much!”  


Peter jumped on Tony, pinning him down with a hug.  


“Ouch.”  


Oh yeah, super strength and all that.  


“Sorry.” Peter mumbled, wincing at Tony’s glare.  


“Now get your ass out of here and don’t make me regret this.”  


He flipped off the couch and put his hand to his forehead in a mock salute.  


“Aye aye Captain!”  


And this was how, two weeks later, Peter had managed to move into an apartment.  


It was tiny, a studio, but the perfect location. Five blocks from Stark Tower, two blocks from a Police station, and one block from one of his favorite restaurants of all time.  


Tony had gone a bit overboard with the whole security thing, though.  


There were hidden cameras surrounding the perimeter of his apartment, and Tony had direct access to all of them. At least he had privacy inside the apartment.  


There were alarms on all the windows and the door, and the door was replaced with a bulletproof one that needed three keys to unlock.  


How Tony had convinced the landlord to allow this was a mystery, but Peter bet it had to do with a shitload of money.  


Even though he was still under Tony’s surveillance, Peter felt free.  


He had a new house, and a new beginning. He was officially adulting.  


This was going to be fucking awesome.  


-  
Wade had found that finding Peter Parker was a little more difficult than anticipated. He had received an email with a blurry picture of the kid, a brief physical description, and was told that he might have an alias.  


Just perfect.  


His sources told him that there were no Peter Parker’s in New York City that fit the description. He was shit out of luck.  


That was, until, two weeks later, he got a call from one of said sources.  


Apparently a ‘Peter Parker’ had just rented out an apartment only a handful of blocks from his own place.  


Wade had high hopes for this Peter.  


As soon as he got the address, Wade booked it to the apartment. It was time to be sneaky.  


Wade was excellent at stalking. Absolutely bloody brilliant at it.  


No one even knew he was around, and he could wait for hours with no complaint.  


**[You complain constantly, don’t lie.]**  


Okay so yeah, he complained, but he got the job done.  


Which is why he was camped out on the roof opposite the building this ‘Peter’ now lived in, binoculars in hand.  


If his super duper sophisticated technology was right, and it almost always was, the kid had about five security cameras surrounding the outside of the apartment, and alarms on every window.  


_Who the fuck is this kid?_  


To have that much security meant that this ‘Peter Parker’ was probably pretty dangerous, or at least involved in some dangerous stuff.  


But this was his meal ticket, the final job he’d ever have to do, and he was gonna do it right.  


Wade almost missed Peter. Just almost.  


The kid was walking down the street, a chinese takeout bag in his arms.  


Wade put the binoculars up to his eyes to get a better look, and see if the figure really fit the description provided.  


He focused on the boy (man? manboy?) below, and he was pretty fucking surprised.  


Yes, he fit the description. And yes, he looked like the blurry photo.  


But damn, did low definition hide some shit.  


Cause holy mother of god, was this kid gorgeous.  


Big, brown bambi eyes. Pale skin dotted with moles. Adorably messed up chestnut hair.  


_And,_ Wade tilted the binoculars down slightly, _a damn fine ass._  


It was glorious, really. As was the rest of Peter. Lean muscle that looked like it belonged to a gymnast. And the kid was pretty tall, too. 5’10 to Wade’s 6’1.  


Peter was the kind of hot piece of ass that Wade would have hit on relentlessly. And now there was a hit out on the kid.  


**[Three million dollars. Remember the three million dollars.]**  


**{What about mixing business with pleasure, though?}**  


_Don’t shit where you sleep._  


**[He wouldn’t want us anyway. A moot point. You know what isn’t a moot point? Three million dollars.]**  


And yellow was right. As gorgeous as this kid may be, he was not pretty enough to make Wade give up that much money.  


The hard part was over, Wade had found Peter Parker. Now, it was time for the easy part: killing the kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so it begins.  
> Hopefully will write more soon, I'm usually pretty quick at these things.  
> I put down 20 chapters but that is very much subject to change. I don't plan these things out lol.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade realizes this is gonna be a harder job than he thought, Peter realizes Deadpool is interesting.

Peter was having a little bit of a hard time adjusting to life in his new apartment. Call him spoiled, but he had had a maid for the past 7 years.  


Yes, he was raised to clean up after himself, and that’s what he still did, but damn was it nice to have someone paid to do it.  


Not to mention the fact that he was living alone, completely. He had never lived alone. Ever.  


Despite the many tragedies in his life, he was always _with_ people. And now he was completely alone.  


And he was single, too. Not even a date in the past 6 months. Pathetic. Blue balls central.  


Yes, he was still friends with MJ, kind of. They talked occasionally. And he still had a few ‘friends’ from college.  


The truth was, though, that it was hard to keep real friends when you were Spiderman and the son of Tony Stark.  


Tony looked down his nose on pretty much any potential date that Peter had. Peter could be engaged to the princess of England (or prince, ahem) and Tony would probably find something wrong with them.  


Not that Peter could even get a date these days.  


So, he was alone, single, and currently eating a fuck ton of chinese food in front of the TV.  


His life was spectacular.  


Tomorrow he had work, a visit with Tony, and then his daily ‘crime fighting rounds’.  


It was going to be a busy day, just like every day. At least he didn’t have college to deal with anymore.  


As exciting as being Spiderman was, Peter still craved a little more excitement in his life. He felt like every day he just went to work, beat up the same ol’ bad guys, and then went to bed.  


Boring, boring, boring.  


He needed a new bad guy to fight. Like, the Vulture, or Electro or something. Something other than boring muggers and bank robbers. It was all so cliche.  


Or at least someone to date.  


So, he was not only alone, single, and currently eating a fuck ton of chinese food, but he was also bored.  


Cool. Fabulous.  


But at least he had an apartment.  


-  
After the big ‘Peter Parker Discovery’ Wade got to work on a plan. The kid was clearly heavily guarded, so he would have to catch him unaware.  


Out in the public, but privately.  


Easy peasy.  


So it was time to stalk some more. Figure out the schedule, and find the perfect time and place to strike.  


He had been camped out in the same spot as before for about three hours before Peter left the apartment.  


Peter was wearing khakis and a flannel, and Wade thought it was charming. Peter looked like a freakin’ nerd.  


Wade followed him for a few blocks, jumping from rooftop to rooftop, before he saw Peter enter a building. Specifically, Stark Tower.  


_Fuck._  


**[Who the hell is this kid?]**  


_Does he work at Stark Tower? Just visiting? Sightseeing? Needed to take a leak and this was the closest building?_  


But after watching the door for 8 hours, only to see the kid leave at 5pm, Wade decided Peter must work at Stark Tower.  


Which, okay, was fucked. It made this job a little harder, and a little more confusing.  


Was Stark hiring bad guys now? Or did Stark not know?  


And how high up the chain of command _was_ Peter? Janitor level or Manager level?  


This kid just got more and more fascinating.  


Instead of following him home, Wade decided to go back to his place and do a little research.  


This was not going to be as easy as he expected, and he needed to get to work if he was gonna be on an island in a week.  


Which, of course, was why Spider-man intercepted him a block away from his house.

  
-

Peter had met Deadpool a grand total of one time. It didn’t go that great.  


The mercenary lived in New York City, but left for jobs so often that he was barely on Peter’s radar.  


Except for the one time Deadpool’s target was a New York City resident, and Peter found the mercenary about to kill said target.  


He called the police, webbed up Deadpool and the target, and left. So, he was pretty sure Deadpool and him were not on that good of terms. Not that he cared. Deadpool was a problem, not someone you wanted to be friends with.  


“Well hello, dickwad.”  


Ah yes, that was the Deadpool Peter knew.  


“Sad to see you’re not in prison, Deadpool.”  


“Your webs are not as powerful as you’d think, Spider-boy. They’d be more useful in other circumstances. Like bondage.” Deadpool winked at Peter.  


“In your dreams, Deadpool. This ass is off limits to bad guys and mercenaries.”  


“Well, well well. You’ll be happy to know I’m quitting the biz. Your sexual fantasies can now come true.”  


Well, that was weird. Deadpool, no longer a mercenary? What the hell would the guy do?  


“And what exactly are you planning to do with all your free time? Open a bakery? Run an orphanage? Cure AIDS?”  


“I was thinking maybe buying an island? Picture this, spidey, you and me, naked, lying on the beach with no one for miles.” Peter could see Deadpool’s eyebrows waggle beneath the mask.  


He wanted to vomit, maybe. Peter was weirded out by the part of him that _didn't_ want to vomit.  


“Sounds like a lot of sand in places I don’t want sand to be.”  


“Such a buzzkill. I wouldn’t want you there anyways, you big ol’ negative nancy.”  


Peter shook his head. Deadpool was always such an enigma. Friendly, flirty, but killed people for a living. How could a bad guy have so much charisma? Granted, the charisma was weird and inappropriate, but for some reason Peter currently felt like smiling.  


Ew.  


“Anyways, spidey, what do I owe the pleasure? You here to call the cops on me again?”  


What was Peter doing anyways? He had just suited up in the alley on the way home from work, about to do some patrolling, when he saw Deadpool and had the unbridled urge to pick on the mercenary.  


Or, ex-mercenary.  


Interesting.  


“Nothing, nothing. Just patrolling. I’ll leave you to whatever weird shit you’re up to.”  


Without a second glance, Peter swung away, eager to get away from Deadpool and whatever childish thoughts he had caused. He was especially eager to ignore the fact that talking to Deadpool was one of the most interesting things to happen to him in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! Whoo hoo. I'm really frickin ready to write more peter/wade interactions but I'm trying not to jump the gun.  
> But whatever.  
> Hope you like it! Another chapter will hopefully be coming soon :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Wade get to know each other a little better.

Wade had made some calls, hoping the deep dark internet had some information about Peter Parker. His sources said it would take a few days.  


No biggie.  


Weirdly enough, he was still following the kid.  


He’d watch him go to work, watch him head home, and then go home himself.  


It was kind of pathetic, really, that he had been doing this for a few days.  


But it was just so interesting watching the kid.  


Firstly, he was simultaneously hot and cute. Wade wanted to screw him senseless and then wrap him up in warm blankets and give him a piece of candy.  


Secondly, he was a fucking charmer.  


He’d stop and ruffle the hair of kids passing on the street, throw a coin into the cup of a homeless person, and chit-chat with pretty much everyone he ran into.  


Peter was a freakin’ social butterfly, and it was adorable.  


With every interaction Wade witnessed, he began to doubt more and more that Peter was some sort of bad guy.  


Would a bad guy do all that shit?  


Still, he had been told ‘Peter had hurt a lot of people’ and the kid had some tight security. Something had to be up.  


But perhaps the weirdest part of the past few days was that he had ran into Spider-man three times. Three whole ass times.  


The first time was some weird coincidence, and Wade brushed it off. Bantering with the hero was fun, and it was certainly fun to ogle the fine ass that belonged to Spider-man.  


The second time, well it was also fun.  


Spider-man had just swung down onto the street Wade was on, and started talking to him.  


Maybe, even, _flirting_ with him.  


**{Definitely not, bozo.}**  


Anyways, after their third chit-chat session, Wade was a little suspicious.  


Spider-man was being downright friendly. It was uncharacteristic.  


Sure, he made fun of Wade the whole time, but never in a truly mean way, and Wade always bantered back.  


It was, really, like they were flirting.  


**[Again with the flirting, asshole?]**  


**{He’s just keeping tabs on you.}**  


And that was, honestly, the most logical explanation. The “hero” was probably worried about what Wade was going to get up to now that he was quitting the business.  


Wade was just part of the patrols.  


And, honestly (Wade had a lot of time these days to think about this shit and be honest, okay), Wade was okay with that. As long as it didn’t interfere with his job, he’d trade insults with Spider-man all day.  


-  
Peter was having a problem.  


It was a Deadpool problem.  


He was practically stalking the guy. Every single time he went on patrol, he looked for the mercenary.  


And what did he do when he found the guy? Make fun of him.  


What the hell was wrong with him?  


He was a hero, not a bully.  


He was also not childish enough to keep on doing this shit.  


But it was so _fun_. Peter had never met someone who took his shit and then threw it right back.  


It was fun, kind of exciting, and always left him smiling.  


Which is why it was a problem.  


He should not be ‘smiling’ because of a mercenary.  


_Ex-mercenary._  


And god, there he went again. Making more excuses.  


In Peter’s mind he had two solutions: stop talking to Deadpool completely, or find out if Deadpool was (or could be) actually a good guy.  


The first choice was the most reasonable and logical, so obviously he was leaning towards the second.  


God damnit.  


-  
A day later, Peter had found Deadpool again.  


The guy was sitting on a fire escape, eating something that looked like a burrito.  


Peter, unable to help himself, swung himself right next to the merc and perched on one of the railings.  


Deadpool was unfazed.  


In fact, he reached into the Taco Bell bag beside him, retrieved a burrito, and handed it to him.  


Huh.  


Peter cautiously took it and turned his head to lift up his mask and shove the burrito in his mouth.  


“Quick eater, huh? Y’know you should really slow down, bad for digestion and all.”  


“Oh fuck off, you know I did that so you wouldn’t see my face. Your mask is down, too, asshole.”  


“So rude, what did I do to deserve this? I gave you a burrito. That’s practically the nicest thing I could do for a person.”  


Peter took a minute to think. Was that really the nicest thing Deadpool could do for someone?  


“What about not killing someone, huh? That seems pretty nice to me.”  


“Oh, you little naive child. How old are you anyways? Probably twelve. Anyways, you have such a boring view on morals, man. Black and white. Mine are grey, baby.”  


“Grey?”  


“Yeah, grey. Fifty shades of grey. I’m that kinky too.” Deadpool winked. “Anywho, some people deserve to die, in my expert opinion.”  


“They can die in jail of natural causes.”  


“Agh, tell that to the parents of kids who were murdered, or raped. They want the bastards to die. Trust me, I know. And the police have always done a shoddy job at catching bastards, anyways. Some of them are bastards themselves.”  


“Well that’s where I come in. I help the police, do what they can’t do.”  


“It’s not like that everywhere, babe. Anyways, enough of this boring shit. Want another burrito? I promise I’ll turn around if you do too.”  


Peter took the burrito from Deadpool’s hand, trying to comprehend everything the merc had just said.  


Admittedly, he made some good points.  


_And, I guess, It’s stupid to think that everyone has to believe the same stuff I do.I guess._  


He wasn’t entirely convinced he could agree with what Deadpool was saying, but it was interesting to hear.  


Turning around, he lifted his mask and ate the second burrito a little slower.  


He hadn’t really found out if Deadpool _was_ actually a good guy, but he was a little closer.  


_Better keep talking to him, then._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much everything I ever write about anything is just bullshit. Like deep dark web? whatever. I don't know how this shit works.  
> Anyways...lol.  
> Hope you enjoy this chapter! More is coming soon, I had a busy week last week so not a lot of time to write.  
> To everyone who has left kudos or comments or subscribed, THANK YOU!! Your support gives me life.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade meets Peter.

Fucking finally, Wade’s sources got back to him.  


Apparently, there was no information about Peter Parker. Like it was scrubbed from the internet, or something. It would take a lot of work or time to get anything on the kid.  


He was left with fucking nothing. A name, an address, and a place of employment.  


Luckily, one of his sources was kind enough to dredge up an up to date list of employees at Stark Tower. Of course, there was no Peter Parker on the list, but it was a start.  


Either the kid had an alias, or he was working for Stark secretly.  


This hard just kept getting harder and harder.  


**{Why don’t you just kill him? Stop trying to discover his life story, and finish the job.}**  


**[Yeah. I’m getting sick of New York. It’s almost fall, asshole. I want warm sand and clear water. Not freezing temperatures and piled up trash.]**  


_I’m working on it, guys._  


So yeah, he might be taking longer than usual. There might have been a few opportunities to kill the kid in the past few days. Nothing a sniper rifle couldn’t handle.  


So why _was_ he taking so long?  


Was he more hesitant to leave the business than he thought?  


No. That wasn’t it. In fact, he had been dreading completing the job.  


Which had never happened before. Ever.  


Maybe it was because he was getting old, having a change of heart.  


**[It’s because you think he’s ~cute~]**  


_What. What are you even talking about?_  


**{Obviously we’re talking about little ol’ Peter Parker, the cutey patootie you’ve been assigned to kill.}**  


Okay, no.  


_I’ve had plenty of targets that are cute, guys. Fucking plenty. And I’ve always blown their brains out, no questions asked._  


**{Petey’s different, and you know it.}**  


_Petey? Really, Petey? We’re really giving nicknames to our targets now, huh?_  


**[He’s not just any target.God, you couldn’t be more blind.]**  


So, that was something to think about.  


If the voices in his head were right, which was a scary enough thought, he didn’t want to kill Peter.  


But why? He had only been watching the kid for about a week.  


Was he really just getting soft?  


He thought back to the conversation he had with Spider-man (another weird thought), about how he thought some people deserved to die.  


And Wade wasn’t so sure that Peter deserved to die. That was it.  


That was why he was trying to find out so much about the kid. He needed to prove that Peter needed to die.  


And, well, shit. This just got even more complicated.  


-  
Wade decided he needed to talk to Peter.  


**[A horrible idea.]**  


**{The worst idea you’ve ever had.}**  


It might be a horrible idea, but it was the only way Wade could find out if Peter deserved to die.  


Maybe not the only way. But at least he could see that cute face up close.  


The real decision to be made was _how_.  


The thought of confronting Peter with no mask on was honestly horrifying. He hadn’t shown his face to anyone in _years_. And besides, it would probably scare the kid off.  


But everything else wasn’t even an option. His Deadpool mask? Horrible idea. A ski mask? Even worse.  


He would just have to risk it, and ignore the inevitable disgusted look on Peter’s face.  


But he was still incredibly nervous, as he waited in the coffee shop Peter frequented.  


If Wade knew Peter’s “pre-work routine”, and he really did, Peter would be stopping by in a few minutes.  


_Fuck, fuck fuck._  


**{Get it together, pussy.}**  


He had already been gawked at enough, even with his baseball cap and hoodie on. The barista had looked at him as if he was some contagious monster, and everyone else in the cafe visibly flinched when they saw his face.  


Wade really didn’t know how he was going to handle Peter’s reaction.  


He had no time to dread it all, though, for at that moment Peter walked in.  


The same barista who had sneered at him greeted Peter with a jovial hello. Apparently they knew each other by name.  


Peter was waiting at the counter for his drink (a mocha frappuccino) dressed in the same old ‘khakis and flannel’ combination.  


He really did look even cuter up close, and those khakis really did fit that butt perfectly.  


Which made what he was about to do even worse.  


Wade stood up, coffee in hand, and walked by Peter slowly, before purposefully tripping. His coffee spilled all over those nice khakis.  


“My bad.” Wade muttered, trying to conceal his face by looking down at the ground.  


Peter groaned, but patted Wade on the back.  


“It’s okay, no big deal. Just coffee.”  


Wade risked a glance at Peter’s face, and froze.  


Truly, completely, absolutely, adorable.  


The big brown eyes were even bigger in person. Chocolate brown, with little specks of gold. Absolutely ridiculous.  


And, surprisingly, Peter didn’t even flinch when they locked eyes.  


He just looked Wade straight in the eyes like there was nothing amiss. Like Wade was any other person.  


“Um...I’m really sorry about that, bro.”  


_Bro?_  


**[Bro? Really?]**  


**{Do you belong to a frat or something? Bro?}**  


“Really, it’s no big deal.”  


So, Peter was still really nice. Even to Wade. This was not helping things along.  


“Still, let me buy your coffee or something.”  


“Already paid for it, but thanks for offering.” Peter smiled, then, and Wade felt his insides take a tumble.  


**[Smooth, dude. Really smooth.]**  


Wade remained silent, really not sure what to say. The whole coffee shop was staring at them, and Peter was still covered in coffee. And Wade still didn’t have his mask on.  


“Look, um-what’s your name?”  


“Uh, Wade.”  


**{You sound about as eloquent as a neanderthal.}**  


“Wade. Yeah, Wade, You don’t have to worry about this at all. It’s okay.”  


So apparently Peter was the nicest person on the planet, and could look him in the eye without flinching. No biggie.  


“Okay, well. Thanks? Sorry again.”  


Wade really kept on sounding like a bumbling idiot.  


**[You _are_ a bumbling idiot.]**  


Peter picked up his coffee, smiled yet again, and headed for the door.  


“Maybe I’ll see you around?”  


“Um. Yeah.”  


Wade was left with a strange, dopey smile on his face as Peter left the coffee shop.  


This did not at all go to plan. Peter was nice. Cute. Wonderful.  


**[So let’s get this straight, shall we? You come to this coffee shop to see if Peter deserved to live, and now you think he’s the bee’s knees.]**  


_I never said he was the bee’s knees._  


**{Um, everything about you right now is practically screaming ‘You’re the best Peter Parker!!Have my babies!!’. And may I remind you, we advised against this plan.}**  


**[Yes, we advised against this horrible plan, and now you have an even bigger crush. All while you were trying to find out if he _deserved to die_**

So, yeah, this was a shit show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I 100% believe that Peter drinks the sugariest coffees ever and so does Wade usually.  
> Sorry it's taken so long to update I've kinda had a writing block. Do you ever read someone elses fic and you're like wow this is so amazing and well written and then you read a bit of your own and you're like wow well okay i suck and you don't want to write? Pretty much.  
> Anyways thank you all for following and supporting this fic so far!! I will trudge through the writing block. I'm even writing more now. Hallelujah.   
> LOVE YA enjoy


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To kill or not to kill, that is the question.

Peter was having a pretty good day, despite the coffee that still stained his pants. He had made a breakthrough at work, got the number of a coworker, and now he was sent home early.  


Being sent home early was arguably the best part of the day.  


Which meant he had plenty of time to slack off and be lazy before his nightly patrols. Halle-fucking-lujah.  


He was fully planning on putting on some pajamas, getting some junk food, and being an absolute slob.  


But as soon as he was out the door, his phone started ringing. Tony.  


_Ugh, god._  


He reluctantly answered the call.  


“What’s up, Tony.”  


“Hey, kid, come upstairs for a bit. I need to talk to you.”  


“Okay. See you in a few.”  


Well, fuck. There went his plans.  


One lengthy elevator ride later, Peter was in his old home. It hadn’t actually been very long since he had left, but it felt like ages.  


He barely recognized the place, though everything was the same.  


“Peter! There you are, come into my office.”  


Tony’s voice blasted over the speakers in the house. He must have been watching the cameras or something.  


“You know, there is such a thing as _too_ connected, you creep.”  


“Heard that!” Tony shouted again.  


Peter rolled his eyes, and he was sure Tony saw that too.  


He sauntered into Tony’s office, prepared to be bored. Tony would probably lecture him on something, or tell him to move back in.  


“Peter. This is important. Come here.” Tony motioned towards the chair next to him in front of a series of computer screens.  


“Peter, I’m not sure if I ever told you this, but I’ve been monitoring your internet presence.”  


Okay, not surprising, but also a total invasion of privacy.  


“What do you mean? I don’t even have facebook.”  


Horror sunk into his heart.  


“Wait. Wait. Have you been looking at my internet history?”  


Peter had looked up a ton of stuff he would rather not have Tony know about. Like porn.  


“No, no. I’ve been looking out for people who search your name, or both of them. Peter Stark and Peter Parker. I also, uh, kind of wiped your presence off the internet.”  


“What do you even mean?”  


“I mean that if you search Peter Parker, nothing comes up. It’s only Peter Stark. And even that doesn’t bring up much.”  


“Okay, okay, hold on. Why would you do that?”  


“To protect you, Peter. I don’t want anyone digging into your past. Who knows what they could find out.”  


“This really makes no sense, Tony. And I’m practically a genius.”  


“You’ve lost sight of the point, Peter. Someone is looking into your past. They aren’t finding anything, but I’m still worried.”  


“Someone is looking up my name?”  


“Yes.”  


Huh. He wasn’t really sure what that could mean. Why would anyone be interested in Peter Parker?  


Tony looked exasperated, and really fucking worried.  


“Call me overprotective, but I want you to watch out. Be more on guard.”  


Peter rolled his eyes. It was probably one google search, and Tony was still getting his panties in a twist over the whole thing.  


“I think you’re being a little overdramatic.”  


“No. I’m not. Being overdramatic would be asking you to move back in, which by the way, I really want to do.”  


“No fucking way, Tony.”  


“Oh shut it. You know I only want what’s best for you. Anyways, that’s all I wanted to talk to you about. You can leave now. Just remember to be careful.”  


“Wait what about the whole ‘wiped my presence off the internet thing’?”  


Tony got up and started pushing him out the door.  


“We can talk about that later, or never.”  


“But! But!” Tony continued pushing him. Peter was tempted to actually resist and easily overtake Tony, but decided it wasn’t worth it.  


It was a good day, he didn’t want a fight with Tony to ruin it.  


“Okay! Okay, fine. Whatever. Talk to you later.”  


Peter left the office, and promptly forgot about the whole ordeal. It was time for pajamas.  


-  
The next day, Wade was still undecided. To kill or not to kill, that is the question.  


On the outside, in pretty much every way possible, Peter looked like someone who didn’t deserve to die. If anything, he’d probably be the victim of a crime.  


And when did he start referring to his target on a first name basis? Wade felt like this word ‘Peter’ dominated his mind far too much these days.  


He was a cold blooded killer, a gun for hire, a fucking mercenary. He got the job done quickly, efficiently, and with a lot of jokes along the way.  


There really shouldn’t be a question.  


And yet, there still was. Which was why he was sitting in the same coffee shop as the day before, waiting for Peter.  


**[Embarrassing, really.]**  


**{What about the island? The three million dollars? Can we think about that again?}**  


Wade ignored the boxes as Peter walked in. Same basic outfit, as usual. Adorable, as usual.  


He seemed to be in an even better mood, and started chatting up the barista.  


Wade scooched slightly forward in his chair.  


“Good morning Peter, you seem to be in a good mood.”  


“I am, man. Yesterday I made a huge breakthrough at work, I have a date next week, and my apartment is really coming along.”  


Wade suddenly got a really weird feeling in his stomach. Not quite nausea, not quite like it was ripped out in a brutal and violent manner. Somewhere in between.  


“A date, huh? Who’s the lucky girl?”  


“Ah, guy, actually.”  


Now Wade’s stomach was doing somersaults.  


“Well, well, well Peter. Who’s the lucky guy?”  


“Someone from work. I’m pretty pumped.”  


He tuned them out immediately. No fucking thanks. He did not want to hear about Peter’s date, not one bit. He did, however, want to hear more about the whole...dating men thing.  


That was very interesting, and made Wade’s mind go places it really really shouldn’t.  


Peter had finished talking to the barista, and had picked up his coffee and was heading towards the door when he caught Wade’s eye.  


“Wade, right?”  


Ah shit.  


“Oh, yeah. You’re the guy I spilled coffee all over.”  


Peter laughed, and Wade couldn’t help but smirk slightly.  


“Yeah, thought that was you. Well, I’ve got to head to work, I’ll see you around!”  


Wade’s smile seemed stuck on his face as Peter walked out.  


Looks like he was going to this coffee shop every morning, then.  


**[You’re such an idiot. Oh my god. Absolutely useless.]**  


**{Jesus christ, you’re about as useful as a one inch dick. But you’re still fucking us.}**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'ALL. Thanks for the support. I'm back on my writing grind because of it.   
> Wade's demeanor/personality around Peter Parker is definitely different, but that's cause he's trying to kill the guy. Also he is 100% a little awkward and shy around Peter because..well..you'll see.  
> Also, I'm 75% sure you can like, delete your presence from the internet. or at least, if you're tony stark, you can. Just go with it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spiderman and Deadpool have a talk.

Peter had just gotten off work, and had decided to make his nightly patrol a longer one. He hadn’t been spending enough time in his city lately, and he needed to do some good.  


And it was a lot easier to fight crime when he was in a good mood, which he most definitely was.  


_I have a date,a fucking date, for once. Finally._  


The cute guy who worked in the IT department who always stared at him had actually agreed to go on a date. Dinner and a movie. It was a goddamn miracle.  


So he had a little pep in his step as he changed into his suit in an alleyway not that far from work.  


Part of his reasoning for a longer patrol was that a tiny voice in his head kept whispering ‘Maybe you can see Deadpool.’.  


Which was stupid. Very stupid.  


But he was going to look for him nevertheless.  


An hour later, though, and no sight of Deadpool yet. Just a few little petty crimes that were taken care of in no time at all.  


Peter tried to not be disappointed, but he couldn’t help it.  


Running into Deadpool was always so much fun. The guy was hilarious, inappropriate, and like no one Peter had ever met.  


And, well, fuck, he was kind of hot.  


Peter had realized that Deadpool was, indeed, “hot”, around their third meeting.  


Deadpool had just vaulted onto a roof, and the moonlight hit his leather clad body in all the right places.  


He was huge. Tall, wide, and covered in muscles from head to toe. And that suit, damn, that suit.  


Sure, he couldn’t see his face. But that kind of just...added to the attraction of it all. The anonymity.  


Peter wasn’t “Peter Parker” with Deadpool, and he wasn’t really “Spiderman” either. He could be whatever he wanted to be.  


And the _voice_ deep, gruff, and yet always lighthearted and mocking. Peter would be lying if he said he didn’t want to hear that voice again.  


Maybe it was Peter’s desperation, or lack of any ass in his life, that made him want to see Wade again so badly.  


But that should have all gone away as soon as he got a date, which he did, and yet here he was, waiting on Deadpool like a teenager with a crush.  


_I don’t have a crush, though. Nope. Not at all. Just a weird attraction. That’s it._  


And he hadn’t even figured out Deadpool yet. Deadpool was a complete mystery to him. Peter knew there were depths to the man that he hadn’t seen yet, or even that Deadpool had shown anyone yet. But he knew they were there. It wasn’t just stupid jokes and bravado, there was something else.  


And that all, again, added to the attraction.  


Which was all fucked.  


He should be thinking of the cute nerd he was taking out next week, not the perfectly sculpted butt of a mercenary with questionable morals.  


Luckily, his mopey train of thought was completely derailed when he heard gunshots.  


_That_ was why he was patrolling, not to look for Deadpool.  


He swung towards the sound, and found a rather sizeable mob in an alley. Though he couldn’t make out the specifics, he saw a few people being held at gunpoint, a lot of guns, and a van filled with duffel bags. Almost definitely a robbery.  


Hoping to go unnoticed, he crawled to a better vantage point. He shot a web at a guy on the outskirts and pulled him up, webbing him to the wall.  


That definitely got him noticed, and now he was being shot at.  


He webbed a machine gun out of one of the guys hands, and jumped down into the mess.  


It was ass-kicking time.  


Unfortunately, a few minutes into ass-kicking time, Peter realized he was a little outnumbered. Especially when another van full of heavily armed men pulled into the alley.  


What the fuck.  


He dodged bullet after bullet, and dealt blow after blow, but the number of men shooting at him never seemed to dwindle.  


But then, the fight got a hell of a lot easier. There were definitely not as many guys shooting at him anymore, and he only had a few in front of him.  


“Well would you look at this? The itty bitty spider needs some help. Aww.”  


Peter could recognize that voice anywhere. In fact, he had just been lamenting about that voice and the man behind it.  


Fucking Deadpool. Suddenly the reason for the fight becoming easier was extremely apparent.  


He wasn’t sure if he was pissed off, embarrassed, or grateful.  


Within a few minutes, Peter webbed up the few remaining guys, and was surprised to see everyone was still very much alive.  


In pain, but alive.  


“You didn’t kill anyone?” He asked, looking at Deadpool for the first time.  


“God. I’m hurt. Thought I told you I left that business?”  


Hmm. As big of a proponent of ‘people can change’ that Peter was, he still didn’t believe it could happen so fast.  


“And besides, if I killed anybody I’m sure you’d call the cops on me.”  


Ah, so that was it.  


“Well, thank you. I guess.” Peter huffed. This was definitely embarrassing.  


“Oh, pretty boy, don’t mention it. My greatest joy in life is being the knight in shining armor, especially if you’re the damsel in distress.”  


Why was he attracted to this prick again?  


“As much as I’m sure you want to see me in a dress, it’s never gonna happen.”  


“I wasn’t even gonna ask! But now that you mention it...damn.” Deadpool shivered exaggeratedly. “Can you wear a tiara too?”  


“Never. Maybe a crown, but never a tiara.”  


Deadpool laughed, clutching his sides, and it rang out into the alleyway.  


Peter became suddenly aware that they were surrounded by piles of moaning, bloody bodies.  


“Well, as fun as this has been, I’ve gotta go before the cops come. You should probably leave too.”  


Crouching down, he aimed for the ledge at the top of one of the buildings.  


“Wait! Wait! I actually need your help with something.”  


He paused, standing up slightly and looking back at the mercenary.  


Whatever it was Deadpool needed help with, it probably wasn’t good.  


“Alright. But let’s get out of here first.”  


He reverted back to crouching and zipped up to the ledge, leaving Deadpool in the alleyway.  


“Hey! That’s not fair! I don’t have webs you spider freak.”  


Peter contented himself to watch the man from the ledge.  


“Who’s the damsel in distress now?”  


“Oh shut it, bitch.”  


Deadpool looked around before climbing on top of a dumpster and then hopping onto a fire escape. He began climbing up the various ladders, all the while grunting things like “This asshole.” “Do something nice and whaddya get?” “Oh my fucking god what did I just put my hand in, it was sticky.” “What’s that saying? If it’s wet and sticky and yours don’t touch it?”  


“Well, while I don’t always agree with that...pretty sure I just caught a disease.”  


Finally, Deadpool reached the top of the building, and Peter was glad for his mask, since his shit eating grin would’ve been very noticeable otherwise.  


“So, princess, what is that you need help with?”  


With a groan and a glare, Deadpool sat right next to Peter. Their arms were practically touching, and he tried very hard to ignore the warmth radiating from the other man.  


“So I’ve got a question, Mr.Morals. A question...for a friend.”  


“Uh..okay. Shoot.”  


“So, this friend of mine is a mercenary, you see.”  


“Oh my god, if you’re gonna ask me about how to kill someone, I’m leaving.”  


“No! No no. Stay. Just let me finish.”  


_Ugh._  


This was almost definitely going to be bad, he might even be an accomplice to murder at this rate, but he really couldn’t bring himself to leave.  


“Alright. Alright. But plausible deniability okay? Remember that.”  


“Oh whatever. Just listen.” Deadpool slung an arm around Peter, and pulled him closer.  


If a little ‘eek’ escaped Peter, the mercenary didn’t notice.  


This was not helping his situation. Not one bit.  


“So, this friend of mine, he was recently assigned somebody, you see. Assigned somebody to kill.”  


Peter groaned.  


“And, well, he’s not sure if he wants to kill the guy! I mean, the guys nice and sweet and cute...but besides the point. I’m...I mean my friend is not sure if the guy deserves to die.”  


This was weird. Peter definitely didn’t think that mercenaries operated that way.  


“Well, my answer is always of course ‘don’t kill the guy’. But is that even the way this guy works? Will he really not kill someone if they’re not...I don’t know, a bad guy?”  


“Of course not! This guy, same with me, only kills the people that really have it coming. But this time, even though he was told that his assignment has hurt a lot of people, he doesn’t know.”  


“The answer is easy, then. Don’t kill him.”  


“Really, you think so? But what if the guy actually did a lot of bad stuff? And what if the job paid a lot of money?”  


He shook his head.  


“Why are you even asking me this? You know what my answers gonna be. And why is this “friend” asking you anyways? You’re no moral compass.”  


“Hey, hey, easy on the insults butt face. I do the right thing, sometimes. It’s been known to happen. And you’re the only person I could think to talk to. I, um, I mean my friend, really needs some advice.”  


He sighed. Deadpool really did always have the capability to surprise him.  


“Then tell him this: Don’t kill the guy. You should always believe in the best in people.”  


Turning his head slightly, he looked at Deadpool, who was looking off somewhere, oddly silent.  


Peter guessed he could use the same advice. Always believe in the best in people. Maybe he shouldn’t judge Deadpool so harshly.  


“Okay, okay. I’ll tell him that.”  


Then, Deadpool pulled Peter even closer, so close that Peter’s head was smacked against the man’s chest.

His heart was not beating fast, okay, he just had a fast metabolism.  


“So, Spidey, want to go grab some tacos?”  


Not without effort, Peter extracted himself from Deadpool’s extremely heavy arm and stood up.  


“I’ll pass. All this talk of killing people has ruined my appetite.”  


That was a lie. He really was pretty hungry. All he knew was that he needed to get out of there.  


Sparing one more glance down at the man, who was looking up at him expectantly, he ran and jumped off the building, swinging out into the city.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty.  
> So I started this story honestly not knowing what the fuck I was gonna do with it. It was just 'deadpool hired to kill peter, blah blah blah happy ending'. Y'know, as a writer really should do.  
> Anyways, last night I had a brain blast of epic proportions and now I know what direction this story is headed in, halle-fuckin-lujah.  
> Not that you needed to know that but whatever! I'm in a sharing mood.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade makes a discovery.

After his far from enlightening conversation with Spiderman, Wade was left to sit on that building all alone.  


“Hate to see you leave! Love to watch you go!” he called out into the night, but he was almost certain Spiderman didn’t hear him. The humor would be lost on the guy anyways.  


Spiderman had only succeeded in confirming Wade’s fears: he couldn’t kill Peter.  


**[But the money!! MONEY!!}**  


**{Now is not the time to suddenly develop morals, asshole.}**  


“Hey, I’ve always had morals. Weird, wishy washy morals, but they were there. Asshole.”  


Wade really didn’t care if he was talking to himself, there was no one to hear him anyways. And even if there were, fuck em.  


**[You gotta call whoever gave you this job first. You gotta. How else are you gonna know?]**  


Yellow had a point. If he really wasn’t going to kill Peter Parker, he’d have to make sure.  


God damn boxes. He hated when they were right.  


So now he had to figure out how to get in touch with his employer. He tried calling the number that originally called him, but it was deactivated. No luck.  


He made his way home, stopping for pizza on the way. He’d have to email the same address that sent him Peter’s picture, though he doubted he would get a response.  


The only other information he had was a routing number from the deposit he got.  


To cover all his bases, he sent a dollar back, hoping that at least someone would get the hint.  


But this was going to take days.  


A big ol’ part of him never wanted a response. He wanted to send the whole deposit back and give up on the job.  


What could his employer say that would change his mind anyways? It would have to be bad.  


And what if the employer couldn’t say anything to change his mind?  


If that was the case, Wade couldn’t kill Peter. But someone would. His employer would just hire someone else.  


Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.  


This was the most complicated job he had ever been on. All because of a pair of big brown eyes.  


**[Don’t forget that ass.]**  


**{Jesus christ, how could you forget that ass?}**  


-  
Peter had the day off from work.  


It was strange, having a day off. Just as strange as somehow maintaining a 9 to 5 job. He was pretty proud of himself.  


Still, Peter couldn’t really lounge about in his pajamas all day, though he desperately wanted to.  


He had things around the house (his house!) to do, he had to visit Tony, and he was going on patrol later. He never really had a day off.  


First things first, though, he needed coffee.  


He went down the coffee shop he always went to, wearing sweats and a ratty old T-shirt. That was one of the best things about living in a city, you could wear whatever you wanted and no one would judge you for it.  


Well, people might judge you for wearing a Spiderman suit, but he was used to the daily barrage from the press.  


He ordered a pumpkin spice latte with an extra shot, getting in the mood for fall and all. He was a basic white girl at heart. At least when it came to coffee.  


While he was waiting for his order, he looked around the shop, and his eyes settled on a familiar face.  


It was Wade. The shy looking guy who spilled coffee all over him a few days ago.  


Without even thinking, he walked over and sat down in front of him.  


“Hey, Wade.”  


Wade looked up, startled and completely surprised. His big, milky gray eyes widened even more.  


Peter stifled the slight flinch he experienced every time he looked at the guys face. Completely covered in scars, not a patch of smooth skin in sight.  


As Wade gaped at him, Peter couldn’t help but wonder, what the hell happened to the guy?  


All those scars, and yet he was still walking. Still getting coffee in the morning. What the hell was his story?  


“Hey, Peter.” Wade finally said.  
There was something oddly familiar about the voice. Deep and husky, it almost reminded him of Deadpool, except there was no lighthearted lilt to it. It was reserved and quiet.  


But Peter should almost definitely not be thinking of Deadpool. Not one bit.  


An awkward silence stretched between them, and Wade wasn’t even looking at Peter.  


_Too shy, I guess._  


Determined to fill the silence, he pointed towards Wade’s coffee cup.  


“What’re you drinking?”  


“Oh..Um. Pumpkin Spice Latte.”  


“Hey! That’s what I got too!”  


He smiled, hoping to ease the man’s awkwardness.  


Surprisingly, Wade smiled back, though only just a little.  


“The more sugar the better, right?”  


“Exactly.”  


“What’s the point of coffee if it doesn’t have as much sugar as a little kid’s trick or treat bag, right?”  


He laughed, loud and bright.  


“My thoughts exactly.”  


Wade was full on smiling now, though he still refused to make eye contact. Every time Peter looked at him, Wade would pull his hood slightly lower, or try to hide his face with his hat.  


_The guy must be super self conscious about his scars._  


Peter’s name was called, and he stood.  


“I’ll be right back.”  


He grabbed his coffee and came back to the table.  


“Diabetes in a cup, huh?”  


Wade let out a little cute laugh.  


All Peter wanted to do was make Wade smile, and be able to look him in the eye comfortably.  


He had obviously been through a lot, and could probably use a friend.  


“So, Wade, what do you do?”  


This was not the right question to ask, apparently, since Wade averted his eyes even further and began fiddling with a sugar packet on the table.  


“Ah..well, I’m actually in between jobs right now. Looking for a new career.”  


“Oh, really? What did you do before?”  


“Nothing really worth talking about.” Wade lapsed into silence again, and Peter felt slightly disappointed. “What about you? What do you do?”  


He smiled again slightly, that was a hard question to answer truthfully.  


“I work as an engineer at Stark Tower, actually. It’s pretty cool.”  


Wade’s brow lifted in what seemed to be shock.  


“So you’re a science geek, huh?”  


“Yeah. Kinda.”  


“Huh. Why am I not surprised?” Wade said quietly, almost as if talking to himself.  


The table started buzzing, and Peter felt in his pockets for his phone. His phone wasn’t buzzing, but the old brick phone on the table was.  


Wade looked at it as if it were some alien device before picking it up and putting it to his ear.  


Maybe he didn’t get many calls.  


“Yello’?”  


The man’s face was etched with confusion, and he stood up and walked outside, looking at Peter only briefly.  


He watched from the table as Wade nodded and spoke a few words. His face was not only confused, but also horribly grave. The phone call must be serious.  


And then, in an instant, the glum look on his face turned to pure shock. His eyes widened, his mouth opened, and the hand holding the phone dropped.  


He looked at Peter, then, with the most imperceptible expression on his face.  


What the hell was the phone call about?  


Peter raised his hand to wave at the man staring at him intently, but Wade had disappeared.  


“But, but, your coffee!?”  


He looked back at the coffee cup, still full, and the empty seat in front of him.  


Wade was a strange one.  


-  
He had hoped to see Peter that morning, but didn’t expect it. Something about the kid always seemed to clear his mind, yet make his stomach do somersaults, all at the same time.  


He really hadn’t dared to hope that Peter would sit across from him and start talking, as if they were old friends.  


Finding out that Peter was an engineer wasn’t really surprising, and it only added to the kid’s charm. Cute, friendly, and smart. Just another thing to add to the ‘What I Like About Peter’ list.  


He was also definitely not expecting a call, and was a little miffed that it disturbed their conversation.  


“Deadpool. You have tried contacting us. What is the problem?” It was the same distorted voice from before, but from a different number.  


He headed outside, knowing he couldn’t talk about killing Peter Parker in front of Peter Parker. It would be too obvious, duh.  


“Yes. Yes. I, uh, I wanted to know exactly what it is that Peter did that makes you want him dead so bad.” He winced a little at his obvious slip. Mercenaries didn’t call their targets by their first names.  


There was silence on the other end. He glanced at Peter, his thoughts whirling. This was it. The deciding moment. And Wade kind of didn’t want it to come.  


“A strange question. But if you must know, he is the son of Tony Stark. His name is Peter Stark, legally.”  


That shocked Wade to the core. The puzzle pieces all started to come together. No wonder he worked at Stark Tower, and no wonder he had so much security. But what did he do that was so wrong, despite being a billionaire superhero’s son?  


“The main reason, however, if you must know, is that Peter Parker is Spiderman.”  


And _that_ , well, _that_ well and truly shocked Wade to his core.  


He really hadn’t expected to see Peter that day, and he definitely didn’t expect him to sit with him, but he really really hadn’t expected the kid to be Spiderman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hot take: Peter is a huge sweetheart and is super friendly and goes out of his way to make people comfortable. I hope that that is not actually a hot take and everyone agrees lol.  
> anyways, wow, if you thought anything in the past 8 chapters was angsty, get ready for some real frickin angst.  
> love u thanks


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade has a decision to make.

Wade was having a terrible day.  
p Absolutely shit.  


He had ran from the coffee shop all the way home, and was now lying on the ground, listening to Air Supply.  


He had no fucking clue, whatsoever, as to what he was going to do.  


His boxes had their own opinions, and were yelling at him constantly. He did his best to ignore them.  


But they were pretty fucking loud. And in his brain. Kind of hard to tune out.  


So, Peter was Spiderman.  


That was pretty much a huge fucking thing to find out.  


And the same old question came back this time: To kill or not to kill.  


The boxes, of course, had their own opinion on the subject.  


Yellow still thought that he should still kill Peter and get the money. White thought that he should just book it, move to Hong Kong and be a mercenary there.  


Wade, though, was still not sure.  


**[Just kill him. It’ll be quick and painless. There are plenty of heroes out there anyways.]**  


**{No, no no. Move to Hong Kong. I’m telling ya, there have gotta be some jobs out there. Chinese gangsters, they’re the new mafia.}**  


5 years ago, he probably would’ve agreed with at least one.  


Killing a hero? Not really his style. Yellow could fuck off.  


But moving? Just ditching this shit situation? 5 years ago, he would have agreed in a heartbeat.  


But now, oh fucking hell _now_ , he couldn’t agree with either.  


He couldn’t kill Peter. He really couldn’t.  


If he was being truly honest with himself, he would have known this a week ago. He would have known this the first time he saw Peter.  


And to find out that Peter was Spiderman? Well fucking hell, that bent his world out of shape.  


It had all sorts of implications, some that he really didn’t want to think about.  


The fact that Spiderman, fucking Spiderman, the guy that saved all those people, helped everyone he could, talked to him, made fun of him, laughed with him; that was Peter.  


Peter, who he had watched so closely, who had not flinched at his scars, who had a smile that forced Wade to feel something; it was all the same guy.  


And god fucking damnit, wasn’t he such a fuckup?  


Couldn’t even do his job properly. Couldn’t even quit it properly. Couldn’t even be...whatever he wanted to be...for Peter.  


On every possible side, he had fucked up.  


If he had just killed Peter at the first opportunity, the job would be done, he would be far away, and Spiderman would be dead.  


Fucking Spiderman. The guy who got that cops called at him. The guy that called him princess. The guy that told him he should believe in the best in everyone.  


**[Oh my fucking god can we ditch this whole ‘sappy sentimental guy’ act? I’m sick of it.]**  


_Fucking shit/_  


Wade scrunched his eyes shut even further. His fists were balled up at his sides. Air Supply was singing their heart out.  


He could just leave. Get the fuck out of dodge. Leave the country and leave all this behind. He wouldn’t have to quit. He wouldn’t have to kill Peter.  


But someone would. Someone would try.  


No one offers 3 million dollars for killing someone without really, really wanting them dead.  


If Wade quit, flew to Hong kong, Peter wouldn’t know. He’d carry on with his life, or what little would remain of it, and think of Deadpool as some asshole who was just alright, and think of Wade as some idiot who spilled coffee on him .Peter would never think of him as the man that tried to kill me.  


But Peter would be dead.  


And that’s what it all came down to. No matter how much his boxes pleaded with him, he knew what he had to do.  


He didn’t want to kill Peter. But even worse, he didn’t want Peter dead at all.  


And shit, shit, shit, if only it could be a different way.  


He had to tell Peter.  


-  
Peter’s visit with Tony was fine. Nothing special.  


They ate dinner and Peter talked about work, and Tony talked about work.  


Even though, really, Tony brought up Steve every other sentence. Weirdly enough.  


And now, after taking a record-breakingly short nap, he was on patrol again.  


Nothing too exciting was happening in the city tonight, so he was resting on one of his favorite roofs, looking out at the city before him.  


But before long, his rest was disturbed.  


He felt the presence of someone before he heard them.  


Turning around quickly, he saw a familiar body move in the shadows.  


Tall, muscular, and making no effort to be quiet; it was Deadpool.  


Peter couldn’t stop the smile spreading on his face.  


The usual little dance his heart did every time he saw Deadpool commenced. It was some sort of anticipation.  


“Hey, Deadpool. What’s up?”  


The man was silent, strangely so. No stupid pick up lines, no stupid one liners.  


He was approaching slowly, taking his time. There was hesitance in his movements, some sort of resignation in the way he drooped his head,  


This couldn’t be good.  


“I need to talk to you.”  


Really couldn’t be good.  


Deadpool’s tone of voice was like nothing he had heard from the man before. It was serious. Grave.  


“Uh...sure. What’s up?”  


Deadpool reached behind him, grabbing the katanas, and tossed them across the roof.  


What the hell.  


He then pulled his two guns from their holsters and sent them flying in the same direction.  


“Web me up.”  


“What? What are you talking about?” The man wouldn’t look him in the eye. “What’s wrong, Deadpool?”  


“Please, just web me up, then I’ll explain.”  


He had never seen Deadpool this way, ever. Never even thought it was possible.  


He obeyed, figuring there was no real harm in it. Though why Deadpool would allow himself to be so vulnerable was way too confusing.  


Within a few seconds, Deadpool was webbed against the roof entrance, his body upright.  


“What’s going on?”  


The man looked resigned, afraid.  


“Peter Parker.”  


He had a physical reaction to those four syllables. His body jerked, his heart stopped, and he stepped away. It couldn’t be.  


“I know...I know...please. It’s okay. I’m sorry. I know your identity.”  


“But, but how? How did you find out? Have you told anyone?”  


His mind was whirling, thinking of every possible way. It was impossible. He was so careful.  


“That’s why I need to talk to you. I need you..to…” Deadpool looked down, even further down than before. “To take off my mask.”  


Something inside him screamed ‘run!’. Nothing good could come of taking that mask off. But he found himself drawn closer, his hands outreached towards the man.  


He needed to know.  


Slowly, hesitantly, he found the edge of the mask and lifted.  


A familiar face. Scarred heavily. Milky gray eyes.  


It was Wade.  


He flinched, jumping back, more confused than anything.  


“Tit for tat. My name’s Wade Wilson.”  


“If you knew...If you knew that I was Peter, did you...did you meet me on purpose? Did you go to that coffee shop on purpose?”  


It was too much. Trying to connect the shy Wade with...with Deadpool. The same man.  


“I...I didn’t know it then. I really didn’t. But I did go to the coffee shop on purpose.”  


“Why? What do you mean you didn’t know? When did you find out?”  


Images of Wade in the coffee shop flitted through his mind. It just couldn’t be.  


“Please, just let me get this out. There’s a reason I made you web me up. I don’t want to scare you.”  


“What do you mean scare me? What would scare me?”  


“Please. Please just listen.”  


Peter inhaled deeply, trying to calm the mess inside of him.  


“Peter…” He jerked at the name. His name.”Peter, I was hired to kill you.”  


It was like a physical blow. It shocked him, staggered him.  


His thoughts were tumbling, trying to put this all together.  


“Listen. Listen to me. I know, I know, i’m shit. I’m shit. I’m the worst. But, listen, please. I was hired to kill Peter Parker,but I couldn’t. I didn’t see why you should die. I...I watched you. I, I, just couldn’t bring myself to do it.”  


Jesus christ. He wanted to run. He wanted to take back everything.  


All of the times he talked to Deadpool, all the time he spent thinking of him, all the time he spent _anticipating_ him; he wanted it all back.  


“Listen. Listen. I wanted to find out what you did that was so bad, so bad that I should kill you. My..my employer said that you had hurt a lot of people, but left it at that. I asked them again, and they told me who you were.”  


His stomach felt like a dead weight. With every word that came out of that man’s mouth, it got heavier and heavier.  


“Someone knows who you are, Peter. And they want you dead.”  


Something flared up inside him. Anger.  


Anger at Deadpool. Anger at himself, for thinking he could trust the man.  


“Why!? Why even tell me? Why just not kill me?”  


Deadpool looked at him, searching for his eyes. Desperately trying to make that contact. Peter didn’t want it.  


“No, no. I couldn’t! I couldn’t do it!”  


“Why didn’t you just kill me before you knew I was Spiderman? It’s what you do best, isn’t it? Killing people?”  


Deadpool exhaled, his breath hissing through his teeth. There was something in those eyes, almost anger.  


“No! I didn’t...I didn’t want to. I couldn’t do it. Aren’t you listening to what I’m saying?” his voice got louder, more forceful. “I couldn't fucking kill you. And I couldn’t let you die.”  


This made no sense. Red clouded his vision. He was so, so, so angry.  


He didn’t want to believe any of it, but it all made sense. Nothing worked out for him. He was always betrayed. Always hurt.  


Deadpool was trying to kill him the whole time.  


“Why?! Why just not let me die! I can’t believe...I can’t fucking believe that I thought I could trust you! You, of all people!”  


Deadpool scrunched his eyes closed, wincing with each word. Peter was inches away, screaming in his face.  


“Why!? Tell me why!”  


“It’s because I care about you!”  


Deadpool’s eyes pierced his own. They were so close, their faces practically touching, their hot breath intermingled.  


He looked down at Deadpool’s mouth, open, and releasing short puffs of air.  


God, he wanted to believe that.  


But it was a lie. It all was a lie.  


“I don’t believe you. Why should I?”  


“Just...It doesn’t matter. That...that doesn’t matter. You just need to know, you need to know that someone is trying to kill you.”  


“It does matter! It does. Why should I believe you at all? Is any of this even true?” He backed up, removing himself from the bubble they had created. It was cold.  


His feet kept moving. Backwards and backwards, away and away.  


“Peter! Peter! Please, just, believe what I’m saying! You don’t have to trust me. I know you don’t. But I’m telling the truth.”  


He couldn’t listen anymore. Another betrayal, another failure. He couldn’t face it.  


His body turned away, he couldn’t stop it if he wanted to.  


Deadpool kept calling out, calling his name, warning him.  


But he felt shattered. His trust, something he valued so much, had failed him again.It wasn’t just that it was Deadpool, it was that he had been let down again.  


He always tried to see the best in people, do the right thing, though he almost never got anything in return.  


But he failed. He was wrong. Again.  


The world kept on dealing him these blows. His parents. Uncle Ben. Aunt May.  


What was next? Was he right at all?  


Did all his beliefs even matter?  


He jumped off the roof, pummeling down into the streets, waiting until the last second to shoot a web and swing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof.  
> A long chapter, full of angst.  
> LOL  
> it gets happier from here on out I promise.


	10. Chapter 10

Things had been better.  


Peter’s life wasn’t going so well at the moment.  


He had the whole ‘Deadpool fucked me over’ thing, the whole ‘I might be assassinated’ thing, and the whole ‘Do I tell my dad’ thing.  


Things could definitely be better.  


If he told Tony, everything would go to shit. He’d have to move back in, probably quit his job, and he’d be holed up until whoever it was that wanted to kill him was put in jail. That could take months.  


He wouldn’t be able to patrol, he wouldn’t be able to work, and he wouldn’t be able to try and find the guy himself.  


Alternatively, he could not tell Tony. If he didn’t tell Tony, he’d be able to live in his apartment, do patrol, go to work and find the guy himself. But he could be killed.  


He would have no one’s help. No one would even know that he was in danger.  


Just Deadpool.  


And what if Deadpool was lying and this was some big plot?  


He was pretty much fucked either way.  


Which was why it was 3pm, he’d called in sick to work to sleep in, and he still hadn’t gotten out of bed.  


Peter really, really, really, wanted someone else to figure this all out. Actually, he wished this all never happened.  


Flashes of Deadpool’s scarred face flitted through his mind every few minutes, begging for attention. But he shook them away.  


He couldn’t focus on that.  


Instead he needed to focus on not dying. Which, apparently, was a lot to fucking ask for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY This is the shortest chapter of all time because I had to post something before I went on a mini hiatus.  
> I forgot my laptop charger at someone's house a week ago and I can't go and get it for like another week or two.  
> Also it's finals week next week so I'm screwed.  
> I just wanted to post something real quick to let y'all know. Thanks for being patient <3\. I will return to normal in a week or two and my writing schedule should be back up to a chapter every few days.  
> THANK YOU


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Wade deal with the aftermath.

It had been a couple days since the whole Deadpool debacle. He still hadn’t told Tony. He still didn’t know if he wanted to.  


Despite the threat of assassination, he still was going on patrol and he was still going to work. Though, admittedly, he had been trying his damnedest to be sneaky.  


Peter had just, in a moment of frustration, ran to the top of the Empire State Building. The tippity top.  


He felt, sometimes, that being up so high made all his problems disappear. Like he was too far off the ground for them to affect him.  


And there was something so cathartic about running _all_ the way up that made him feel better.  


But now that he was up there, nothing seemed different. Everything was still messed up.  


He still had so many questions, and so many decisions to make.  


Running away from his problems wouldn’t solve them, and neither would ignoring them.  


He would, shittily enough, have to tell Tony. Even though it would make his own life a living hell for a while, at least he would still be alive.  


God damnit.  


He looked at the city below him, at all the people that were just tiny dots. He wondered who they were, where they were going, what they were thinking.  


He wondered if Deadpool was one of them.  


Peter jumped, propelling his body off the side of the building, and diving down towards the street below.  


He relished in the feeling of free fall before reluctantly shooting a web and swinging away, headed towards Stark Tower.  


-  
Wade had discovered that telling the truth was actually pretty horrible.  


Peter hated him. Spiderman hated him. Now Tony Stark was probably gonna hate him too. Same with the guy that hired him.  


Pretty much everything was shit now.  


He had to make things right with Peter, somehow. The entirely selfish part of him wanted nothing more than to erase the whole thing. Take it all back. Protect Peter himself.  


But he wasn’t _that_ selfish, contrary to popular belief.  


He had done the right thing. Even though it was killing him.  


**{So if he hates us so much, and you think you did the right thing, why have we been trying to find him the past few days?}**  


Oh, yeah, that.  


So sue him, he was trying to find Peter.  


He was a little selfish after all.  


And yeah, he was currently looking for Peter. So what.  


He just needed a chance to explain himself further, try and help the kid, and just see that face again.  


At this rate though, he’d never find the kid. So much for his superior stalking skills. He’d searched practically every rooftop, waited in front of Peter’s house, waited in front of Stark Tower, and nada. Zilch. Zero.  


He may or may not be going through withdrawals.  


No Peter, no Spiderman, it was enough to make a man go crazy.  


And Wade was already a little unstable to begin with.  


He had been waiting in front of Stark Tower for hours with no luck. It was already too late for Peter to be there, but Wade desperately hoped the kid would show up. Swing up onto a roof somewhere, come running towards Wade, hug him so tight, and whisper ‘I forgive you’ over and over in his ear.  


**[Oh my fucking god. You’re such a pussy. This isn’t some romantic comedy, you little bitch.]**  


_Who said anything about romance? I’m not trying to spoon the guy, just want him to forgive me._  


**{Oh my god. You’re kidding me.You wax poetic about this dude every day.}**  


_Just cause I care about someone and think they’re hot does **not** mean I love them. Pretty sure I’m not capable of that anyways._  


**[Oh jesus. You’ve taken a one way trip to repression-ville. Lucky us.]**  


_Repression-ville? What the fu-_  


His train of thought was (thankfully) interrupted by a very familiar shape on the rooftop next to him.  


Peter. Or, well, Spiderman.  


The kid was staring up at Stark Tower, perched on the ledge of the rooftop. He didn’t look like he was about to move anytime soon, so Wade bolted in his direction, very neatly clearing the alley between the rooftops.  


Peter didn’t turn around, but Wade knew it wasn’t cause he didn’t know he was there.  


Oh Jesus. What was he going to say?  


For all his planning and moping, when it finally was coming down to it, he freaking froze.  


His palms started to sweat, and his heart was beating so fast it was driving him insane.  


“Peter.”  


One way to start a conversation.  


Peter didn’t turn around, didn’t even move. His lithe body was perfectly still; rigid, even.  


Might as well keep talking.  


“Peter, look. Peter. I gotta talk to you.”  


Still no response. It was like talking to a statue. A statue with a perfectly formed butt.  


This was gonna be harder than he expected, and Wade had expected it to be pretty fucking hard.  


“I’m not lying to you now, and I’m sorry for lying to you before. I really am. I’ve changed, y’know. I have. I know we’re different people… I do. I know I’ll never be a good guy in your eyes, but I’m becoming one in mine. You’ve helped me with that. I want to be better.”  


Wade thought he saw a slight droop in Peter’s shoulders; a minuscule relaxation, but it could mean something. He continued, talking louder and faster than before, determined for a response.  


“I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to tell you the truth. I didn’t want you to die. Please just listen to me. I’m so sorry for everything.”  


He let the silence stretch between them, willing Peter to turn around. Willing Peter to say anything.  


“I still don’t trust you.”  


Finally, a response. Not the ‘I forgive you’ he was hoping for, but it was better than complete silence. Peter made no effort to turn around, but Wade knew he had to keep talking.  


“I know, I know. I get it. I wouldn’t want to trust me either, but I’m telling you the truth. I don’t have anything to gain from telling you. In fact, I’m pretty fucked now that I’ve told you. Not that that matters, nope. No. What matters is that you know. And that you be careful. Tony will help you.”  


“Stop talking to me like you know me. You don’t know me. And I don’t know you.” Peter paused, turning around and looking Wade straight in the eyes. “You’re a stranger to me now.”  


Something inside Wade became very painful. It felt like he couldn’t breathe, like someone had ripped a hole in his stomach and put a twenty ton weight in his heart. It wasn’t nice.  


This was, of course, the moment he noticed the bright red dot on Peter’s forehead.  


“Shit.”  


-  
Peter stopped in his tracks, his eyes squinting. “Wha-”  


But he couldn’t finish his sentence, because within what felt like milliseconds, Wade was running right at him, grabbing him by the waist, covering Peter’s body with his own.  


There was a sound, then, that Peter felt vibrate through his body. And then he heard it, again and again, and felt it, again and again.  


Wade whispered, weakly, into his ear. “Jump.”  


Looking down, he realized what the sound was. He was covered in blood, and Wade was limp in his arms.  


So, he jumped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back, bitches.  
> Finals were the worst, but whatever. They're over.  
> a huge hug and tHANK YOU to everyone who left me messages in the meantime, I love u all.  
> Anyways, back on the horse, get ready for a riDE.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony meets Deadpool.

Tony wasn’t the friendliest of fathers. He was a good one, but he wasn’t exactly a social butterfly.  


Everytime Peter brought someone home, the interrogation would start. Especially if it was someone Peter was dating.  


Tony was pretty much never happy with, well, anyone Peter brought home.  


So, needless to say, Tony was pretty damn unhappy when Peter dragged a lifeless, bleeding, Deadpool into Stark Tower.  


Peter knew some huge tirade was coming, but he didn’t know what else to do.  


He was just _shot at_.Like, attempted assassination. That just happened. 

And Deadpool. _Deadpool_ saved his life. More than saved his life. Took five bullets to the back for Peter.  


So he had to get them safe, and Stark Tower was right there.  


Tony, however, would have been more than happy to leave Deadpool outside.  


“The mercenary is getting blood all over my carpets. Do you know how much these carpets cost?”  


“Dad. Dad. Shut up. Deadpool saved my life. The person who shot Deadpool was trying to kill _me_.” He gestured wildly at himself.  


This seemed to shut Tony up temporarily.  


Peter kneeled to the ground beside Deadpool. The bullet holes had already stopped bleeding and were beginning to close up.  


_Guess all those rumors about his crazy healing abilities were right._  


But still, Deadpool was unconscious.  


“Why were you even with him? And why are you being shot at? What the hell is going on?”  


Tony was angry now. Really angry. The ‘stern parent’ voice was out in full force.  


“Well...It’s a long story.”  


He wasn’t sure what to say. The world seemed flipped upside down. Everything he felt before, well, it was different now.  


Deadpool took bullets for him. He wasn’t lying about the attempted assassination.  


He was so confused. Torn between what he was feeling before and what he felt now.  


Could he really forgive the mercenary?  


And as he looked down at Deadpool, laying in a pool of blood, he couldn’t help but think; yes, I could.  


He already had.  


Tony was glaring, and Peter knew what he had to say. Rat Deadpool out and the mercenary would be sent to jail or worse. He stood up and straightened out his shoulders.  


“Well, Deadpool, he’s not a mercenary anymore. And, well, he uh...heard through the grapevine that someone put a hit out on me, someone scary and important. And, well-”  


“WHAT.”  


“Dad, let me finish.”  


“SOMEONE IS TRYING TO KILL YOU?”  


“Yes, dad. But let me-”  


“WHEN DID YOU FIND OUT?”  


Jesus christ.  


“Dad. Dad. Let me finish. I..I-uh just found out. Deadpool told me. Then he saved my life.”  


Tony was uncharacteristically silent. It did not bode well.  


His dad stepped closer to Deadpool, neatly avoiding the blood from touching his leather shoes, and knelt down right next to the mercenary’s head.  


“Is this true?”  


Apparently, Deadpool was awake now, since he nodded very quickly.  


The worry that had been gnawing at Peter’s stomach faded slightly. At least he was alright.  


“Why should I believe you?”  


Deadpool opened his eyes slightly, looking quickly between Peter and Tony.  


“Uh, well. I mean..” He pointed at the blood on the ground. “This? The blood? The bullets in my back?” He looked at Tony who did not seem convinced in the slightest. “And, well, I’m trying to change! Trying to be better!”  


Peter knew the look on Tony’s face. It, too, did not bode well.  


“You know you’re on my shit list. Give me one reason I shouldn’t just lock you up.”  


Deadpool looked frantically at Peter, who could only shrug his shoulders. Tony was a force to be reckoned with.  


“Uh.Uh. I saved your son’s life? I know about who wants to kill him? I, uh, could help?”  


This was apparently the right thing to say. Tony stood up, brushing imaginary dust off his knees and smoothing out the creases in his shirt.  


He walked towards one of the windows in the room they were in, and stood in what Peter liked to call his ‘thinking pose’.  


Peter quickly looked back to Deadpool and whispered ‘thank you’, hoping Tony wouldn’t see.  


All Deadpool did was smile in return and give a big thumbs up.  


Jesus, he really had already forgiven the man.  


Maybe he was wrong about Deadpool...Wade. Maybe he was wrong about Wade. Maybe Wade did change. Maybe Wade didn’t let him down.  


“Okay. I have a solution to this mess.” Tony shouted, glaring at Wade and then Peter.  


Oh god.  


“You.” He pointed at Wade, who visibly flinched “You are going to prove to me that you’re better. You’re going to help us catch the bastard who wants Peter dead.”  


Peter relaxed slightly. This wasn’t horrible.  


“And-” Oh god. What else could there be? “You will protect him with your life. If he dies, you will be locked up for the rest of your life. I can guarantee that.”  


Uh, shit. He looked at Wade with a horrified grimace, but Wade looked surprisingly calm.  


“Wait. What? What do you mean? Like, like a bodyguard?” He asked, hoping the look on his face properly conveyed his confusion to Tony.  


“Yes. He’ll follow you around. Protect you. If anything goes wrong, he’ll be to blame.”  


Well, fuck.  


He searched for some sort of opposition on Wade’s face, but there was only a slight smile. Sure, he had forgiven the guy. But spend every day with him? With someone who just tried to kill him?  


Fuck. But if he told Tony the truth, Wade would really be locked up. Forever. And Wade had just saved his life.  


What the fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol.  
> TWO CHAPTERS IN 24 HOURS?? My treat since I went on a mini hiatus I am trying to crank some shit out here.  
> Anyways, this is the brain blast plot twist I was talking about. Hope you enjoy it. I cANNOT wait to write about this strange dynamic now. Hee hee.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deadpool's first day on the job.

Okay. So. Maybe being a good person wasn’t that bad after all.  


Maybe telling the truth had its benefits.  


For starters, Wade was pretty sure Peter had forgiven him.  


Let’s review the evidence. Firstly, Peter didn’t try and kill him. Secondly, Peter didn’t leave him. Thirdly, Peter said thank you.  


Peter was pretty much the most grateful person alive at the moment, as Wade saw it.  


And now, and mothafuckin now, he got to spend all day with him.  


It was like when he was stalking Peter, but even better.  


**[Don’t forget the scary father that wants to kill you.]**  


**{Yeah. Kind of an important part.}**  


But nothing, absolutely nothing, could kill Wade’s buzz.  


That’s because, currently, he was being shown to his ‘quarters’.  


The ‘quarters’ that were right next to Peter’s.  


Mind you, it was a modified closet with a bed that was about an inch too short, but hell, it would do.  


_This is seriously shaping up to be one of the best days ever._  


**[You were just shot. Multiple times. And then yelled at by Ironman. And now if Peter dies, you’re fucked. This isn’t good, idiot.]**  


_Guys. I can protect Peter. No problem. And besides, I get to spend all this time with him. It’s pretty much the best thing ever._  


**{Didn’t we just have a conversation about how you weren't in love with the kid? And now you’re over the moon about slave labor because you’ll get to...ew… “spend time with him”?}**  


_Don’t read into it too much, party poopers. Negative nancies. I just like the kid. And he just happens to be extremely good looking. So what._  


**[This is ending in disaster. Calling it.}**  


-  
It was mortifying enough to be forced to move home. Peter didn’t even want to talk about his new “bodyguard” living in the closet next to his room. It was way too embarrassing.  


This was going to horrible.  


Or was it? A teeny tiny part of him was kind of excited. The same feeling of anticipation he felt every time he saw Deadpool was bubbling inside of him again. Even after everything.  


And now, he’d be seeing the guy every single day.  


Tony told him he could still go to work, but Deadpool would be there too. Trips outside of Stark Tower were strictly forbidden until there was more info.  


_Ugh._  


Peter rolled out of bed. He had barely got any sleep the night before. His head was too full.  


Today, though, he would go to work. Even if it meant his “bodyguard” was coming along.  


Deadpool was in the room next to him, Peter was all too aware of that.  


The events of the night before seemed to pass in a blur. Before Peter could even protest, Deadpool was bouncing up and down on his new bed while Tony was yelling.  


But all he could do was work through it. Tony would never change his mind, and Deadpool seemed weirdly happy about the whole situation.  


Peter stepped towards the full length mirror in his room, and examined his face. There were bags under his eyes, eye goo crusted around them, and his hair was an oily unkempt mess.  


He needed a shower.  


On second thought, a simple comb and splash of water on the face could do. But as he raised his arms to stretch, the horrible B.O that wafted from his underarms made him change his mind.  


He desperately needed a shower.  


Walking out of his room, he reacquainted himself with good ol’ Casa De Stark. Not surprisingly, there were two floors to the whole penthouse. His room was on the first, along with a living room (not that much living was done in it), the kitchen, and a bathroom. The second floor was solely dedicated to Tony. Tony’s room, bathroom, office and a small meeting room took up the entire floor. There was a spiral staircase that connected to two floors in the living room, though Peter would never venture upstairs uninvited.  


Tony might be his dad, but he was also Ironman. An Avenger. And the CEO of one of the most successful companies of all time.  


So it was no wonder Tony was busy all the time.  


Thankful, at least, for the absence of Tony, Peter walked over to the bathroom down the hall. He passed Deadpool’s new “room”, only pausing slightly to make sure the door was shut.  


He really, really wasn’t prepared for that. Maybe after a long hot shower and a cup of coffee he’d be more up to thinking about the whole predicament.  


Opening the door to his bathroom, Peter froze.  


The shower was running.  


And there was Deadpool, naked as the day he was born, standing in a stream of water.  


Thankfully, there was some steam that fogged up the glass panes of the shower. But. Deadpool’s ass and broad shoulders were in full view.  


Peter swallowed thickly. He had almost forgotten about the scars.  


He still hadn’t connected his image of ‘Wade’ and his image of ‘Deadpool’ in his mind. They were two separate people to him.  


Those scars covered every square inch, it was almost fascinating. It looked horribly painful, and he couldn’t help but wonder what it felt like. Felt like to have them, felt like to touch them.  


After a minute or two, Peter realized he still hadn’t shut the door. He had just been staring. Like a creep.  


Quickly, he shut the door and speed-walked in the opposite direction.  


Coffee.Coffee was what he needed.  


-  
After a big cup of coffee, Peter decided it must be safe to go back to his bathroom. Which was apparently now shared.  


Yet another wonderful aspect of the whole situation.  


You would think Tony would have enough foresight to put two bathrooms on the floor, but no, Tony never cared too much for visitors.  


Fucking Tony.  


But the shower did help clear his head, and Peter always felt a hundred times better after a shower.  


Before he knew it, it was time to head down for work, and Deadpool was standing in front of his room.  


“Good morning, Mr. Stark.” Deadpool saluted, his black and red leather suit sharply contrasting Peter’s simple outfit of khakis and a t-shirt.  


“Jesus. Don’t call me that.”  


“As you wish, my liege.” Deadpool curtsied.  


Already, the morning was off to a bad start.  


“Whatever. Just, uh, follow me I guess?”  


He walked down the hall and towards the elevator just outside of the penthouse. Deadpool quickly followed behind.  


He really wasn’t sure what to expect, or what Deadpool had been told by Tony. This was the first time they had talked, and it felt weird.  


Something had changed between them. They were in some sort of weird limbo, and Peter couldn’t make heads or tails of it.  


He desperately wanted to know what Deadpool thought about what was happening. He couldn’t be happy about it. There was no way.  


Glancing over at the man, he realized the merc was humming.  


_Humming? He can’t seriously be humming._  


Was he all wrong? Did Deadpool secretly get a kick out of all this?  


But who in their right mind would agree to something like this? It was practically slave labor, and Deadpool was being forced to put his life on the line for Peter. By Tony Stark.  


But still, Peter couldn’t ask. Everytime he looked at Deadpool he thought of that conversation on the rooftop. He was so angry. So very, very angry.  


The wound still felt so fresh and raw.  


And after all of that, Deadpool had said that he cared about Peter. And then he saved Peter’s life. And now he was willingly playing the part of bodyguard.  


Jesus, it just didn’t make sense.  


They were in the elevator, but Peter barely noticed. His brain was on autopilot, so many things threatening to distract him completely. And the mere presence of Deadpool was enough to drive him crazy.  


Despite only knowing the man for a few weeks, Peter had an astounding amount of history with him.  


They were once wary friends, Peter might have once even flirted with the man. Thought he was attractive. They had talked about so much, shared so much food. Insulted each other.  


And then he was Peter’s enemy. The man sent to kill him. The man that betrayed him.  


And now, now he was the man that saved Peter’s life. The man he just saw naked. The man whose naked body Peter couldn’t get out of his mind.  


The man standing next to him in the elevator gawking.  


Oh, right. It was his floor.  


He rushed out the door, hoping the heat in his cheeks wasn’t visible. Deadpool, of course, followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another chapter? I'm just crazy like that.  
> Glad that some of y'all are happy with this new pLoT tWiSt. Again, I have no fucking clue what I'm doing and I have a vague idea of how everything all goes down. Can't believe people are subscribed to this madness.  
> The amount of times Peter thinks of Deadpool is about the amount of times I use the word 'Deadpool' in my writing. AKA, a fuckload.  
> Anyways, as always, hugs and kisses love y'all especially the ones that comment all the time (you know who you are) you keep me goin'
> 
> P.S I am now realizing that this is so frickin slow burn. I am so sorry. Who freakin knew it would take over 13 chapters for these idiots to know they like each other. I promise more ~romantic content~ is coming I just had to get the plot rollin


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Workin 9 to 5, what a way to make a living.

His first day on the (unpaid) job was going pretty swimmingly.  


So far, he had only knocked over a few beaker things.  


**[So what. Weren’t being used anyways.]**  


Wade was trying to be on his best behavior. Whatever that meant.  


No flirting. No inappropriate comments. No ogling.  


Peter and him weren’t back on that level anyways. But one day. One day.  


The kid seemed to put up with his constant presence, though every once in while Peter would turn around, see Wade, and let out a little ‘eek’. It was honestly adorable. Peter’s coworkers, however, did not seem to get used to Wade.  


It might’ve been the leather suit, or the katanas. Some people just don’t have any taste.  


Seeing Peter go about his day without the help of binoculars was something else. If he felt all weird and gooey watching Peter say hi to a kid on the street, he felt all sorts of weird and gooey watching Peter at work doing all sorts of sciencey stuff.  


He definitely had no clue what Peter was even doing, but he knew enough to know that Peter was practically a genius.  


Which, well, classic.  


Very classic of Peter to be a genius.  


And now it was almost lunch time, and he couldn’t wait. This would be the perfect time to talk to the kid. They hadn’t really talked at all, and Wade was feeling desperate.  


Peter, who was doing something very important on the computer, looked at his watch and then Wade.  


“It’s time for lunch.”  


Freakin’ finally.  


He dutifully followed Peter out of the lab and into the elevator once more. Apparently they were headed for the cafeteria. Who knew working a 9 to 5 job could be so thrilling?  


He looked down at Peter, who was really only a few inches shorter than him. How had he never realized how long those lashes were?  


Jesus. He had to look away.  


They were the only ones in the elevator, and the confined space only seemed to intensify the tension between them.  


Wade wondered if it would ever go away.  


After what seemed like hours, they reached the cafeteria floor, and Peter briskly walked out.  


There was a buffet, salad bar, and drink station. Working for Stark had its perks apparently.  


But was he allowed to eat?  


Tony Stark was not a man he wanted to cross, and part of him feared that somehow the man would see him eating, call him out over the speakers (a system that definitely existed) and have him arrested.  


And that part of him was pretty big. So was the part of him that thought he’d get arrested for looking at Peter’s butt for more than five milliseconds.  


**{Remind me why we don’t just cut and run? Start a new life in Hong Kong?}**  


It was a good question. This situation was clearly not the best. One wrong move and he was screwed.  


But then, Peter, who was already in line with a tray, beckoned Wade forwards, handing him a tray.  


And that was pretty much the answer; Peter.  


-  
Deadpool had been awfully quiet the whole day. It was kind of freaking Peter out.  


Weirdly enough, he missed their conversations.  


As they sat down at one of the benches, Peter looked over at Wade’s plate. It was piled with desserts. And literally nothing else.  


He smiled to himself slightly.  


They sat across from each other, and he made sure not to look at the man too long. Every time he did, his mind was sent whirring. Deadpool kept on looking up at him expectantly, and it was messing with Peter.  


He looked desperately around the room for something to distract him, and he finally settled on Jake.  


Jake, the guy he was supposed to go on a date with.  


_Oh shit, that’s happening in a few days._  


Before he realized he was staring for too long, Jake was standing up and waving.  


God, asking him out seemed like it was years ago, from another life.  


Jake walked over, a pep in his step and a smile plastered on his face.  


And, y’know, a few weeks ago, that would’ve been the cutest thing ever. But now? Nothing.  


_I’m an asshole._  


“Hey, Peter!”  


Deadpool’s head snapped up.  


“Hey, Jake.”  


God, he felt awkward. Deadpool’s eyes narrowed. Guess he was taking his bodyguard job seriously.  


“We still on for Friday?”  


_Oh god._ This was painful now. He was so excited for this date, and now he was dreading it.  


Deadpool was sitting painfully upright, his shoulders stiff and rigid. Probably judging him.  


“Uh, yeah. Yeah. Definitely.” He followed up with a smile, hoping it looked enthusiastic enough.  


Jake smiled back even brighter and walked off.  


Peter looked back down at his plate, his appetite gone.  


“You can’t go on that date.” Deadpool muttered.  


_What?_  


What did Deadpool even mean? Why was he even interfering?  


Like the guy could even comment on Peter’s love life, or who he should date. Where did he get off?  


What an asshole. He might’ve forgiven him, but that doesn’t mean the merc could waltz back into his life and start judging him for who he dated.  


“What do you even mean? Jake’s great.” He said, fully intending the snarky tone.  


Deadpool, who was still acting as stiff as a piece of plywood, pushed his ice cream around with a spoon.  


“Well. Mr.Stark said you’re not supposed to leave the tower.”  


Oh.  


_Oh._  


He was an idiot.  


“Oh, right. Of course.”  


He shuffled in his seat, feeling even more awkward than before.  


They both went back to their meals, barely eating anything more, sitting painfully in the silence between them.  


Deadpool didn’t care about him dating anyways. He’d remember that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this contained no real plot whatsoever, really. But whatever, it was important for them to develop their ~feelings~ alright? Okay?  
> Also I lowkey even forgot about Peter's date. Ha.  
> ALSO. ALSO. The fic is probably gonna be over 20 chapters long. Lol.   
> Anyways, enjoy, love u all as per the usual.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade gets a clue.

The rest of the day passed somewhat normally. Peter just didn’t really talk to Wade at all.  


Which, well, Wade was find with.  


Completely fine with. Being silent and still for hours at a time was completely normal for him.  


Just fucking kidding.  


It was horrible.  


When Peter got off work they had ridden in the elevator once more. Wade cursed Stark Tower for being so damn tall.  


And as soon as they got to the penthouse, Peter sulked into his room and slammed the door. Leaving Wade with nothing to do.  


So he went to his closet, and let the boxes (who he had been trying his best to ignore all day) take over his senses.  


**{Let’s talk about that Jake guy. Huh. Let’s talk about that.}**  


**[Oooh yes. Let’s.]**  


Jesus. He had almost forgotten about that.  


An unwelcome image of a dorky kid with glasses flitted through his mind.  


Suddenly he really wanted to punch something.  


**{Kind of cute. You gotta admit. Who knew Peter would go for that kind of guy?}**  


**[Guess that skinny and nerdy is Peter’s type...interesting. Wait. Wait. Hold it. Does this mean…?]**  


**{No. Oh my god. Is...Is Peter a top?}**  


_Shut up. Shut up._  


He really did not at all want to think about Peter having sex with Jake. Nope. Not at all.  


But still, his mind betrayed him. He could picture it, Peter, naked, on top of that little nerd.  


But apparently, this picture had a mind of it’s own, since all of a sudden Wade had just punched Jake in the face and was now on top of Peter.  


**[You’re right. You’re right. Definitely not a top. Maybe power bottom?]**  


Wade shook his head, willing all naked images of Peter out of his mind.  


_Stop. Shut up. We are not thinking of that._  


**{So wait, if Jake is a bottom, and Peter is a bottom…}**  


_Shut up!! I do not want that mental image._  


And honestly, truly, the mental image of Peter and Jake was horrifying.  


Was that really Peter’s type? Skinny and nerdy?  


Not big and burly, a little funny, and maybe scarred?  


Wait.  


Why was he thinking of that.  


**{Oh my god is our little Wadey-poo jealous?}**  


_Jealous?_  


His gut reaction was hell no. Wade didn’t get jealous.  


But then he thought about it.  


The thought of Jake made him want to kill Jake. The thought of Jake and Peter made him want to kill Jake. The thought of Peter and...anybody made him want to kill that anybody.  


Shit. Maybe he was jealous.  


**[Holy crap! He’s got it! Eureka!]**  


**{Finally realizing his feelings for Peter? I thought this day would never come!}**  


No. It couldn’t be.  


Wade didn’t have those sorts of feelings anymore. He hadn’t in a while.  


And most certainly not for Peter.  


Peter, who he was supposed to be guarding with his life, whose dad was Ironman, who was so completely off limits and out of his league.  


But, you know, Wade had always had shit luck.  


_I...I like Peter?_  


**{Holy shit. Do we need to connect the dots for you?}**  


**[Clearly. Let me spell it out for you. You’re attracted to him. You think he’s the bee’s knees. You want to spend time with him. You saved his life. You’re jealous of Jake. You. Like. Him.]**  


The revelation hit him like a punch in the gut, and he collapsed face first into his bed.  


“Well isn’t that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic.” He mumbled into his pillow.  


This was gonna make things so much more complicated.  


-  
He was getting the hang of this whole Bodyguard thing, he really was.  


It was just that he had the most massive crush on the body he was guarding.  


With nothing to do besides stand a few feet behind Peter, all he could do was sneak glances at the little moles on Peter’s neck, or wax poetic about the way he stuck his tongue out when he was concentrating, or any number of little things he kept on noticing.  


And now, every moment between them morphed into something big and different.  


Like, when Wade dared to speak and made a little joke, and then Peter _smiled_. Well, he tried not to swoon.  


And then, when they were in the elevator, and Peter kept looking over at Wade, and he pretended like he didn’t notice.  


Oh, and of course, when they were in line at the cafeteria, and their hands brushed against each other? And Wade was almost certain he was struck by a bolt of lightning? And was he just reading too much into it or did Peter blush?  


So, yeah, he had a lot to think about.  


But probably the worst moment between them in the few days since Wade’s ‘revelation’ was when Jake got into the same elevator as them.  


Wade felt like a rabid dog. He wanted to throw Jake off the top floor of Stark Tower.  


And Peter had the _audacity_ to start talking to Jake. He even _smiled_.  


If the conversation they had was any indication, Peter had still not cancelled the date.  


He would cancel it himself. By handcuffing Jake to some railroad tracks or something else a cartoon villain would do.  


That moment was the worst. The second worst, however, was running into Tony Stark.  


Stark, who had been busy the past few days looking for info on Peter’s assassin, finally made an appearance at the penthouse.  


Steve, too, was there, and Wade tried not to crap his pants. Or get a boner.  


But the glare Tony sent his way was enough for Wade’s dick to retract up into itself, possibly never to return.  


Stark gave Peter a lecture on something tedious and boring, and then gave Wade a lecture on something he probably should have been listening to.  


The verbal ass-beating was put on hold when Steve put a hand on Stark’s arm and the man calmed down immediately. Steve was a saint.  


At least, though, the best moment of all happened after that.  


Wade had walked Peter to his room, and right before Peter shut the door behind him, he turned around and looked at Wade. Straight in the eye.  


He had tried very hard to not have an immediate physical reaction to eye contact.  


“I’m sorry about my dad. He means well.”  


It was the most Peter had said to him in days.  


“Oh. Uh. No worries. I can tell he cares.”  


And then Peter smiled a little and looked...bashful. Adorable.  


“Yeah. He does. I...I gotta say-” Peter had stuttered and it was one of the cutest things ever. He also raised his arm and scratched the back of his neck and it was kind of hot. “I gotta say thank you for...well, all of this.”  


And all Wade could do was smile, give a big thumbs up (regrettable, horrible, dorky move looking back on it) and say “No problem.” like some big idiot.  


But Peter hadn’t seemed to mind, he just smiled, said “Goodnight” and shut the door.  


**[Jesus. You’re talking about this like you’re a thirteen year old girl writing in her diary.]**  


**{Yeah. You do realize you talked about _touching hands_ like you got to first base or something. What’re you gonna do next? Doodle ‘Mrs.Parker’ in your notebook?}**  


**[If you even think about it, I swear, I’m out. I’m done.]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one night? Thats what I like to call insomnia and coffee-after-6pm babey.  
> Can you tell... can you tell that I wrote this at 2 in the morning? By my usage of the word 'power bottom'?   
> This is pretty much a 'Deadpool has feelings' chapter, so sue me. At least ONE OF THEM is getting on the right page.  
> Also, is that...is that...if I squint hard enough...is that "Background Steve/Tony"?? It can't be!!  
> Anyways I planned everything (by everything I mean vague things) out for the rest of this fic and it is most definitely going to be more than 20 chapters, sorry for being a liar.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Tony have a conversation.

So far, Deadpool was being an okay bodyguard.  


Like, not horrible.  


In fact, Peter kind of liked it. He had warmed up more to Deadpool in the past few days, and kind of felt like he could trust the guy.  


Even just talk to him.  


Which was admittedly awkward. Deadpool, despite all his bravado, was being weirdly quiet and respectful. Wouldn’t even speak unless spoken to. Just stood there and stared at Peter.  


There was still a heavy tension between them. The air always felt hot and thick whenever they were in the same confined space, and Peter’s heart always started beating just a little faster.  


He tried not to overthink it. Which, was, well, practically impossible.  


Tony, too, seemed suspicious about the whole thing. There were a lot of things that still hadn’t been explained, and Tony had strangely taken a step back. It might have had something to do with Steve, who Tony had been hanging out with nearly every day.  


He just seemed a little more relaxed when Steve was around.  


But after the night before, when Tony had yelled at both him and Deadpool, Peter was very much freaking out about the ‘need to talk’ text he had just received from his dad.  


Work was already over, so he had no excuse to get out of what was sure to be a horrible conversation.  


He reluctantly walked up the stairs to Tony’s floor, Deadpool following.  


They both entered Tony’s office and the man looked...serious. Peter swore he got goosebumps.  


“I’ve got news.”  


_That could mean anything._  


“It’s about that hitman.”  


He stood up a little straighter. Finally. It hadn’t even been a week since it all went down, but Peter was eager for it all to be over.  


“What did you find?”  


“Based on some security footage and analysis of one of the bullets we pulled out of Deadpool, we found the guy.”  


“What!? That’s great!”  


Fucking finally. If they caught that guy, they could catch his boss, and Peter would be free. He looked over at Deadpool and smiled, eager to share his happiness.  


Deadpool just stared back blankly, looking a little dazed. Weird.  


“Don’t celebrate just yet. The guy is in hiding, and will take a long time to find, even with all of my resources.”  


“Shit. How long?”  


“At least a week.”  


“What? You’ve got to be kidding me. Another week?”  


“Calm down, Peter. I’m doing the best I can.”  


“Well why can’t I just go looking for him myself? We’d be able to find him a lot faster with my help.”  


Tony stood up. “No. Absolutely not.” God, he looked pissed. “There is no chance of that. None at all.”  


“But-”  


“No! End of discussion.”  


Tony’s expression was murderous. Though Peter desperately wanted to push his luck, he knew it would result in disaster. Disaster and a lot more yelling.  


Still, it sucked that he couldn’t help. It was _his_ problem and he couldn’t do anything about it.  


“Fine.”  


He left the room quickly, eager to put any sort of distance between him and Tony. Worried that he would say something or do something he’d regret.  


-  
Peter was pissed. Wade had never seen Peter that pissed.  


**[Uh...what about the time you told Peter you were hired to kill him?]**  


Okay, so he had only seen Peter that pissed _once_ before.  


Whatever.  


Anyways, while it was pretty understandable why Peter would be a little mad.  


Peter was a badass, who could deal with his own shit, that was a given.  


But Wade couldn’t help but agree with Tony.  


As hot and amazing it was to watch Peter (Spiderman!) be a total badass and kick a lot of ass, the hugely selfish part of him wanted Peter safe and sound.  


So thank god Peter didn’t seem to care about what he thought anyways.And thank god Mr. Stark was pretty hard to disobey.  


Except, of course, when they had gotten downstairs and where standing in front of Peter’s room, Peter went and did the opposite of what Wade thought he was gonna do.  


“Come in. I want to talk to you.”  


He obeyed, equal parts suspicious and excited. Peter Parker’s room!  


Oh my god!  


The door shut behind them and Peter immediately began talking.  


“Okay, so, that was bullshit, right?”  


“Uh-” He was trying very hard to focus on Peter instead of Peter’s childhood bed just sitting _right there_ or any of the posters on the wall that could somehow hold the key to Peter’s heart. “Yeah” he lamely answered, not entirely knowing what question he answered.  


**[What’s that poster over there? Is that Albert Einstein?]**  


**{Classic nerd.}**  


“Right?! Like, I can take care of myself. And who knows how long I would have to wait? I should just go find the guy myself!”  


So, now he was paying attention. Definitely.  


“You want to go find the guy?”  


He didn’t know what to say. Disagree and have Peter be mad at him? Agree and possibly be killed by Mr. Stark?  


"Yes. I have a plan and everything. If I just act as bait, it would be so easy to catch the guy. How else would we catch him? He clearly knows I’m in hiding too.”  


Ah, shit.  


Was it a good plan? Yes. With any other person, Wade would be like ‘fuck yeah do it’. But it was Peter. Peter would be in danger.  


"But...but you could be killed.”  


Peter was silent, and looked at Wade strangely.  


He swallowed thickly, worrying that he had said something so totally wrong that it would set back any progress (however small) that they had made.  


Instead, Peter stepped slightly forward and touched Wade’s arm. The movement was shocking, and sent Wade’s stomach on a series of somersaults.  


Crazy how such a little touch made him feel.  


“But, you would be with me. I’d be safe.”  


Well, shit.  


The trust in Peter’s eyes, the firm hand on his forearm, it was all enough to make the decision way too easy.  


“Okay. Okay. How do you want to do this.”  


Peter smiled so widely then, it was almost dazzling.  


“Yeah? Really? You’ll help me with this.”  


Even if he hadn’t already made his decision, Peter’s smile would have changed his decision in a heartbeat.  


“Yeah. Yeah I’ll help.”  


Peter quickly closed the few inches between them, and enveloped Wade in a binding hug.  


He flinched slightly, partially because of how damn strong Peter was, partially because he was shocked senseless yet again. This was the most they had ever touched. On purpose.  


Peter noticed the flinch immediately, and backed off.  


“Sorry, just excited. Thanks.”  


And Peter looked so weirdly downcast, with none of the same energy he had just a few seconds ago. Was it all because of the flinch?  


And that could never happen. Peter could never think that Wade didn’t want Peter to touch him. Never.  


So, in a quick moment of decisiveness, stupid or smart he couldn’t tell, he leaned forward and gathered Peter up in the tightest hug he could muster, even lifting the kid off the ground. He held him for a few seconds, before Peter could even react, and promptly deposited him back on the ground.  


“Let’s do this.”  


Peter smiled again, a little shakier this time.  


“Thanks...Wade.”  


And all Wade could do was smile back, all too aware his mask was in the way.  


**[He said your name dude.]**  


**{Like, he called you by your name and everything. What the hell.}**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, sorry for being the literal worst and taking a while to update. I've been so busy with work I have no time to myself these days.   
> Anyways, Spiderman and Deadpool shenanigans ensue *eyes emoji*  
> love u all thanks


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Wade make a plan.

Was Peter an idiot? Perhaps.  


But, no matter which way he looked at it, this was the fastest way to end the madness.  


And Wade, thank god, said he’d help. And frankly, without Wade’s help, he would be screwed.  


He was a bit surprised the man agreed to it. Deadpool had even _hugged_ him.  


Picked him straight off the ground. To be fair, he was the hug instigator.  


Which was also a bit strange; the fact that he hugged Deadpool in the first place.  


He had already left Peter’s room, and now all he could do was lie on his bed and think about what the hell was happening in his life.  


Firstly, someone was trying to kill him. Secondly, Deadpool was his bodyguard. Thirdly, Deadpool was hired to kill him.  


Fourthly…  


Why did his heart beat so fast when he hugged Wade? And even harder when Wade hugged him back?  


And why was it still beating so fast?  


Truthfully, he couldn’t ignore the weird tension between them.  


He had thought that maybe it was just because of the fact that...well...Deadpool was trying to kill him. But why was he currently having visions of the guy’s ass in the shower?  


And yes, sometimes he stared at the guy too long in the elevator. Sometimes he stopped walking abruptly just so the guy would bump into his back.  


And yes, historically, he had thought Wade was hot.  


He had connected the dots. He knew Wade was Deadpool. He knew that the leather clad mercenary was the same heavily scarred guy that spilled coffee all over him.  


Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. He didn’t hate Deadpool anymore. In fact, did he ever?  


Despite all the bullshit, Wade hadn’t killed him. It was his job, something that Peter had already known, and he hadn’t followed through. Wade’s own morals guided him, and Peter’s morals told him to forgive the man.  


And he really already had.  


He wanted to talk to Wade, like they had in the past. Be friends again. Talk shit.  


And now, jesus, he kept on thinking about the way Wade’s skin would feel under his.  


It was as if, when he realized that he had forgave Wade, it opened the floodgates. All those feelings he felt before came rushing back, combined with all of these new ones.  


God, was this gonna be a problem? He was suddenly intensely aware that Wade was next door. Mere feet away from him, just separated by a wall.  


Before he could get up, go to the bathroom, and (honestly) jerk off, there was a knock at the door.  


Probably Tony, trying to apologize without actually saying he was sorry and without changing his viewpoint at all.  


Instead, what Peter opened the door to was Wade. Wade wearing pajama pants (did he pack a bag or something?) and a hoodie covering most of his unmasked face.  


Peter, himself, was definitely cognizant of the fact that he was wearing ratty old pajamas too and had just been thinking about Wade naked.  


Wade stepped forward, tentatively, then looked at Peter before fully barreling into Peter’s room and hopping on the bed.  


This was fine.  


“I have an idea.”  


“What?”  


“I have an idea. For this whole ‘catch the assassin’ thing.”  


He looked at the man, the hood still slung low enough to cover Wade’s eyes, but Peter could still see a smile.  


Strange, after all of this, and all of the scars, Peter’s heart still reacted to the mere sight of the man.  


“What’s this devious plan?”  


He tried not to feel self conscious, in his old bedroom with his embarrassing posters and his pajamas littered with holes.  


“Okay, so. I was thinking. You, and a gun. Not great. Not a great combination.”

Peter could sense it, Wade was about to ramble. He sat down at his desk and let it happen, allowing himself to only smiling slightly.  


“But a gun and you I mean I gun shooting at you. I mean I know you can dodge bullets and have spidey sense and all but, like, assassins? Snipers? Not the best.”  


“Yes, please, go on insulting me.”  


“No, no no listen. Listen. Not trying to insult you, spidey. Hey. I like that. Anyways, spidey, I’m just saying you gotta be careful. We can’t have you shot or anything.”  


Peter’s tiny smile was very close from erupting into a full one. Wade was back. Comfortable, babbling, and everything. It was if their previous conversation had really opened the doors for them.  


“So...I was thinking. My master plan. Hold onto your panties, okay?”  


Wade pointed at Peter, making a dramatic pause, and his hood shifted backwards slightly, allowing those milky grey eyes to come into view. Wade immediately looked away, but Peter couldn’t stop staring.  


“Um...well. Anyways. Uh. My plan. I am going to dress up like _you_ okay? Like full spidey couture. And you are gonna be lurking in the shadows somewhere. So when he shoots _me_ you can web the shit out of him or whatever you do, and I’ll be alright, cause, duh, invincible.”  


“Wait. Wait. You’d let yourself get shot? Again?”  


“Well, yeah. It’s not really a big deal I heal quickly and have been shot like thousands of times. It’s the only safe way.”  


Peter thought about it. Aside from the fact that Wade was putting himself in completely unnecessary danger, it was a pretty damn good plan.  


If he came home with any sort of injury, Tony would ground him for life. And if, well, he didn’t come home...Wade would be completely screwed.  


“Are you sure?”  


“Yeah! Yeah. It’s the only way i can think of that would really work.”  


“Okay. Okay. Yeah. Let’s do it.”  


“Okay, great.”  


Wade stood, suddenly awkward, shuffling his feet and glancing at the floor.  


“Well, uh, goodnight?”  


Peter promptly felt awkward too, standing up, as if it was some formal goodbye.  


_God, I’m such an idiot._  


“Yeah-Uh. Thank you. Again”  


And Wade stood still, dressed in pajamas, in his old bedroom, looking all awkward, and Peter had the sudden urge to hug the man.  


So he did. Like an idiot.  


Wade, like he did before, flinched at first contact. But this time, after only a moment, Wade wrapped his arms around Peter and hugged tight.  


“Anytime, Petey.”  


They stood there, hugging, for what seemed like eons. Peter was sure that Wade could feel his very loud and embarrassing heart beating right out of his chest.  


He pulled away, slowly, risking a quick glance at Wade’s face.  


Wade was looking right at him, his face so close, so real and so raw.  


But Wade pulled away faster, before quickly saying goodnight and shutting the door.  


Peter took a deep breath, still glued to the same spot.  


Holy shit. Did he really have a crush on _Deadpool?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, haha, here I am. Enjoy these two nerds. Peter is an overthinker nerd. Wade....is...well...Wade. I personally am a Peter. Wade writes in his diary drawing hearts around Peter's name and Peter writes in his diary 'well, Wade LOOKED at me today. What do you think it means? Also, no biggie, he asked me on a date. Do you think he likes me?' .  
> (in my own personal very right opinion)  
> I am trying my best here, so please bare with the slow pace at which I have been updating lately. I'm tryin!  
> Thank you again for reading and subscribing/bookmarking/leaving kudos/leaving comments every little bit means a lot.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter is a seamstress.

Peter was doing something he never really thought he’d do. Taking Wade’s measurements.  


It all started in the morning, when he realized there was no possible way that Wade would fit in his suit. And he really wasn’t willing to try and stretch that bad boy out.  


He walked out of his room, ready for work, and saw Wade standing right outside like he always did. Peter had to tilt his head slightly to even make eye contact, not to mention that fact that Wade’s arms were as big as his thighs.  


After he has this big realization that, hell, he was gonna have to make another suit, he also realized that he was pretty much checking Wade out. Y’know, like platonic super cool masculine friends do.  


His face immediately reddened, and he practically ran in the other direction, Wade close behind. Yet another super cool masculine action. Peter was full of them today.  


And now, after work, he was standing in his bedroom holding measuring tape.  


“So, wait what are you gonna do?” Wade was eyeing the tape suspiciously.  


Ugh. He couldn’t even believe he was doing this.  


“I’m taking your measurements, so I can make a suit. For the plan? Remember?”  


“Oh.”  


Wade suddenly looked as awkward as Peter felt.  


“Stick out your arms.”  


Wade obeyed immediately, very carefully avoiding any eye contact with Peter.  


It was then that he realized that by taking Wade’s measurements, he would actually have to touch the man.  


Like, get all up in there. Jesus.  


He really, really, hoped that he wasn’t blushing, or that Wade didn’t also have superhuman hearing and could hear his stupid heart beating illogically fast.  


He stepped forward, only a few inches away from Wade, and paused.  


This was not helping his problem.  


He could practically feel the body warmth radiating off the guy, smell what soap he used, and even feel the little puffs of air that Wade was breathing out.  


Swallowing thickly, he reached out and wrapped the measuring tape around Wade’s waist. He had to press it down, right across Wade’s ridiculously sculpted abs.  


He could barely focus enough to read off a number, distracted as he was.  


A few moments passed before he realized his hands were still pressed against Wade’s stomach, and Wade hadn’t breathed in a few seconds.  


Faster than he had ever dodged a bullet, he stepped back.  


This was way more difficult than he thought. He wrote down the number on a piece of paper at his desk, surprised that he even remembered it, and mentally prepared himself for the next measurement.  


“Okay, uh. Put your hands down.” Wade obeyed again.  


Peter walked around to Wade’s back, and quickly measured his shoulders. It was a lot easier without Wade looking right at him.  


He scurried over to the paper and wrote it down. He had one measurement left. The one that involved a certain...delicate area.  


Quickly looking back, he accidentally looked straight at Wade’s crotch, and then averted his eyes to the paper in front of him.  


He could skip that one.  


“Uh. Alright. That’s all.”  


“Wow. Really? I thought you seamstresses had to take like, a million measurements.”  


He was trying really hard to not overthink the tone of Wade’s voice; it almost sounded like disappointment.  


“Yeah, that’s it. I’m not that experienced in this kind of stuff, just my own suit really, but it should do.”  


“Can’t believe I’m gonna be dressed up like Spiderman. I feel like it’s halloween, or like, heaven.”  


“Oh shut up.”  


“I’m serious! Can you dress up like me, too?”  


“I am not putting on your suit.”  


“You’re right, you’re right. That tiny little dancer’s body would not fit. Suit would just swallow you up.”  


“Hey. Hey. I’m incredibly ripped, I’ll have you know.”  


“You don’t have to tell me, Petey.”  


Wade was grinning ear to ear, and Peter was too.  


Were they flirting? Was this flirting?  


Fuck.  


“I’m not putting on your suit.”  


“Whaaat. That’s like...a wet dream of mine. Shit. Did I say that out loud?”  


Okay. Okay. Definitely flirting.  


“Well...if that’s the case..”  


Wade’s jaw dropped so far it looked dislocated.  


“Still a no.”  


“Oh, alright alright. Party pooper. When’s this suit gonna be ready anyways?”  


“I’ll finish it tonight, hopefully.”  


He’d finish it, and then the next day they could get the show on the road.  


“Well, see you bright and early then.”  


“Yeah. Yeah, see you.”  


Wade cheerily waved and walked out the door, shutting it behind him.  


Peter looked in the mirror, smile still plastered on his face.  


Yep, that was totally what super cool masculine platonic friends did.  


Fucking great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plot development? In MY chapter?  
> Not a chance.  
> SORRY its taken so long to update I am back in a groove now and will hopefully be updating more often.  
> ENJOY! Thanks for all the love


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's mission time.

“So, how the hell are we gonna do this?”  


They were both standing in Peter’s room, Wade dressed in his new makeshift spidey suit, and Peter was in his own suit with a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants on over it.  


If Wade was being brutally honest, the suit did not fit that well.  


“We’ve been over this, we’re going out the window.”  


“Won’t your dad’s freaky technology be able to tell? Like won’t a million alarms go off?”  


“No. I learned to hack into the security system long ago. He’s off with Steve anyways, he’d be too distracted to notice anyways.”  


“Steve? Like, Captain America Steve?”  


“Yes. Anyways, we are gonna go a few blocks from here, I’ll camp out, you fuck around for a little bit and hopefully the guy will show up.”  


“Okay. Okay. And these little earpieces, how do they work?”  


Peter sighed and shook his head.  


“They’re already on. You don’t have to do anything. We’ll just hear whatever each other says.”  


**{Wow. Can you keep your big fat mouth shut for a few hours and not say anything embarrassing?}**  


**[If I had any money, I’d bet on it.]**  


“Alright. Let’s get this show on the road.”  


Peter smiled up at him, and it made Wade feel all gooey inside. The past few days had been _fabulous_.  


Peter had been talking to him and everything. And last night, holy hell, it took every fiber of his being to stop himself from taking Peter right then and there.  


He still felt shadows of Peter’s hands on his stomach. It gave him the shivers.  


**{Jesus christ you’re lame. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse.}**  


“Okay here,” Peter opened the huge window, and miraculously, no alarms went off. “Hold on to me.”  


Peter motioned towards himself, and Wade almost whimpered.  


A little awkwardly, he shuffled towards Peter, bent down, and enveloped the kid in a very tight embrace.  


Wade tried very hard to not think about the fact that their crotches were touching.  


“No. Wade. Grab onto my back.”  


“Oh.”  


Very awkward. He did what the kid said, and within seconds Peter jumped out the window.  


It was a little scary, if he was being completely honest. Freefalling, that is.  


Peter shot out a web and swung through the city, landing on a roof about two blocks away from the tower.  


Wade fell to the ground, very gracefully and attractively. Peter didn’t look impressed.  


“Okay I’ll be right here, you go jump around and stuff. I called in a tip to the police saying Spiderman was spotted in this area.”  


“Wow. You’re a genius. Did you know that?”  


“Yes. Now go.”  


More than eager to live out his fantasy, Wade ran across the roof, and jumped.  


Narrowly missing falling to the street, he cursed. This would have been a lot fucking cooler if he had the web shooters.  


Knowing that Peter was listening, he muttered “Sure I can’t have those web shooters?”  


“No.” Came Peter’s voice, directly in his ear.  


“Would be a lot more authentic, y’know.”  


“Shut up. Climb to the top of that tower on the building next to you.”  


He looked at said tower, it looked tall. Huh.  


**{This spider kid is crazy. Climb to the top of a tower? Like, jesus. It’s tall.}**  


Despite the fact that he was pretty much invincible, he was a little iffy about the whole thing.

“You sure about this, Petey?”

“Yes.Go.” was the exasperated response.

So demanding. 

_Kinda hot, actually._

Trying to resist a boner from popping up in the middle of the fucking mission, he headed to the tower and started climbing.

“This is horrible.”

“Aww c’mon. That’s nothing.”

“Maybe for someone with sticky fingers and _webs_.”

“You’re such a baby.”

“Don’t be rude.”

“Such a wittle babyy.”

“At least I don’t look like my balls just dropped.”  


“Hey! I am very manly.”  


“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Petey.”  


He had reached the top of the tower, and was grinning like a mad man (which, well...he was), when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye.  


“Hey, Petey. You on the roof next to me?”  


“Uh, no. I’m a little further away than that.”  


“Well, looks like we have a visitor.”  


“Shit. Okay I’m on my way.”  


Whoever this guy was, he was pretty shitty at sneaking. The tower gave him the perfect vantage point to see the little fucker creeping around on the roof opposite to his.  


If Wade knew anything about trying to kill someone, which he did, the guy was gonna try and shoot him from down there.  


Which, well, hell no. Would not give the bastard the pleasure.  


Frankly, he wanted to tear the guy apart, limb from limb.Shoot a kneecap or two.  


This was the bastard that was trying to kill Peter, and he would never let that happen.  


**{Like a week ago you were trying to kill Peter, too, y’know.}**  


_People change. Personal growth._  


He started climbing down the tower, shielding his body with the metal frame of the tower.  


“Where you at, Petey?”  


“I’m on the same roof as him. I’ve got it.” Peter whispered.  


“Okay. Okay. Be careful.”  


He made it to the bottom of the tower, and peeked around it. He couldn’t see the guy for shit now that he was lower down. Maybe Petey was right about the whole tower thing.  


_My little genius._  


**{Fucking vom. Dude. VOM.}**  


Trying to get a better view of the guy and whatever Peter was about to do, he stepped out, just a fraction of inch.  


Of course, that fraction of an inch was enough for the assassin to promptly shoot him in the fucking shoulder.  


“Fuck!”  


It hurt like a bitch.  


And that’s when the commotion started. He heard various loud noises from his earpiece as he clutched his shoulder.  


“You son of a bitch!” “Can’t believe you just did that, you asshole.”  


“Uh. You good Petey?”  


“Ha. Yes. Are you okay? Come over here.”  


Such a sweetheart. Within a few minutes, he was on the other roof, where Peter had tidily webbed up the fucker who just shot him. The guy looked thoroughly confused. Wade wanted to punch him in the dick.  


Peter, however, was not paying any attention to the dude. He rushed up to Wade and grabbed his arm, inspecting the bullet wound more closely. Wade’s heart stopped in his chest.  


“Are you okay? I’m so sorry dude. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”  


“Oh, this?” He squeaked. Embarrassing. “This is nothing. No biggie.”  


Peter didn’t look convinced, and looked even closer at Wade’s shoulder.  


“Are you sure? Looks like it hurt.” The kid stepped away, only slightly, but his fingers still rested on Wade’s arms.  


“Yeah, yeah. Don’t get your panties in a twist. Let’s interrogate this bastard, alright?”  


Peter nodded, and released Wade’s arm, turning around to face said bastard. Wade’s shoulder hurt even more, after that.  


“Alright, shitsucker, who do you work for?”  


Wade’s heart grew three sizes. Who knew interrogation was such a turn on?  


-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hot new concept: call everyone you know 'dude'. 'dude' as a term of endearment.   
> Anyways, PLOT? 
> 
> To all 212 of you currently subscribed (this is f*ckin mind boggling to me by the way) thank you for joining this roller coaster from hell. Love you long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Teehee.  
> This is my second ever fic on AO3 (ahem...check out my other spideypool fic *wink wink* *nudge nudge*)(unless you're reading this because you liked my last fic, then I love u) and I'm super pumped to write it!!!  
> Again, this is my world and I will write what I want god damn it. Not canon compliant. Perhaps OOC. This includes ages.  
> Hope you enjoy the ride!!! Thank you for reading :) 
> 
> P.S if you didn't already guess, [] and {} indicate the boxes are talkin


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